tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15914227.post1452772579042697167..comments2023-10-19T20:24:30.761+08:00Comments on Orpheus Sings the Guitar Electric: MEME | 25 Random Things About Medarkorpheushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02565452271408221461noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15914227.post-12874587166859177012009-01-30T22:03:00.000+08:002009-01-30T22:03:00.000+08:00I think i may never do this MeMe so publicly on my...I think i may never do this MeMe so publicly on my blog because too many people i know read it. And even those unknown faces who read my blog know people who know me. The world is that small and i hate it.<BR/><BR/>Maybe i am shy, and that's usually seen as arrogance (which i also am actually). But the truth is, being around unknown people, even just something as simple as accidentally bumping into a stranger in the crowd, is mildly repulsive for me. You know how when it gets too crowded and sometimes your arm just brushes against someone else, my hand just automatically recoils into a fist. <BR/><BR/>I am rather good at repressing unhappy memories. I've repressed a lot of my childhood, my teenage years, and even now. It's my way of self defense, because i know if i faced it all, if i let it overwhelm me, i would want to kill myself.<BR/><BR/>Sometimes my own thoughts scare me. Because at times, i think of dying. Not how i would die, but how much i wanted to die. And it takes a lot of effort from that rational part of me to talk myself out of walking to the window. I practically will myself to stay on my bed, to not walk to the window, because if i gave in to my desire, i would have died many times over, i would have died years ago because of the pain.<BR/><BR/>The worst thing is that people expect me to be happy and cannot understand why i am not a chirpy ray of sunshine. I have much more than a lot of people, i know that, but it doesn't exempt me from the darkness.<BR/><BR/>People, upon finding out my dietary habits, often tell me i'm so cheap to feed - just veggies & tofu and i'm happy. Have they yet to discover how much good salads actually cost? Salad costs more than a plate of chye sim at the bloody tzi char stall. <BR/><BR/>I think i'm ugly, and i think i'm fat. It didn't help that my mum used to call me names when i was younger. A truth she would, without batting an eyelid, deny till the cows came home. She only wants to remember the perfect things, and delude herself into thinking all her actions were right. Her way of repression, her way of self-preservation i guess.<BR/><BR/>I've written more than i should, well, better for me to write in your blog than mine. Sigh.Ah Lenghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16955496299032074166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15914227.post-61253499913011817292009-01-30T14:56:00.000+08:002009-01-30T14:56:00.000+08:00Heather - Hey! welcome back to the blogsphere. Bee...Heather - Hey! welcome back to the blogsphere. Been missing you for a while. :) <BR/><BR/>I know what you mean about how the list suddenly feels like it could have been 1000 items long. I did start off wondering if I could fill in 25 random things. ;p<BR/><BR/>Nymeth - I guess we are conditioned to think other people should be making the effort for socialisation, and people who don't, are too snooty. But we forget - sometimes people are just shy.<BR/><BR/>People have politely called me, The Cool One. Well, yes, I am too cool for my clothes. But I am just shy. <BR/><BR/>Back to Gaiman - he was in town, and his Ananzi Boys was coming out soon. So our supplier arranged a "Meet Gaiman Lunch" for the booksellers and I was invited. Gaiman was in black, with a thin leather jacket (actually, I think it was fake PVC leather) He just walked in like a very self-possessed rock star.<BR/><BR/>The supplier knew I was a fan, so they sat me next to Gaiman at the lunch table, and they also arranged for my vegetarian meal. Everyone was served their meat and fish, but for some reason, they had not brought me my veggie dish.<BR/><BR/>I made a joke about how the waiters forgot my meal. When Gaiman heard it (he was unaware I was vegetarian), he just very naturally offered to share his fish with me, so that I could have something to eat while I waited.<BR/><BR/>I also ended up with an autographed proof copy of Ananzi Boys from that lunch.<BR/><BR/>You see why I love my job in spite of all the nonsense sometimes? :)darkorpheushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02565452271408221461noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15914227.post-92029291462175572792009-01-30T07:20:00.000+08:002009-01-30T07:20:00.000+08:00"Once, I sat right next to Neil Gaiman for lu..."Once, I sat right next to Neil Gaiman for lunch. He offered me his fish. " --->I'd love to hear more details of that story :P<BR/><BR/>I do notice that people tend to mistake shyness for snootiness. It happens to me, and I'm not sure why.Ana S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16092495983972185943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15914227.post-65167315121200875772009-01-30T04:40:00.000+08:002009-01-30T04:40:00.000+08:00Nice to get to know you better! I did something li...Nice to get to know you better! I did something like this on my Flickr. At first I couldn't think of anything and then I felt like my list could have been 1000 items long!Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13979896448183348883noreply@blogger.com