Excuse Me, I'm Looking for a Book

People have come in asking for these titles. Seriously.

1. To Mock a Killing Bird


2. Catcher in the Wheatfield


3. The Little Prince by Machiavelli


4. Who Moved My Tree

Frequently Asked Idiotic Questions:

Customer: "Hello, you work here?"
Me: "No."
I swear. This happens to me even when I'm in T-shirt and jeans in other bookstores or at the supermarket.

Idiot: "You must read lots of books."
Me: "No."

And far too many times, people coming in with, "I'm looking for a book. I don't know the title or the author or what is it about. Can you help me?"