I had only one birthday wish this year. It did not come to pass, because it isn't something I can only ask for, but whether it comes or not, that's an act of grace. I can work towards making the conditions right for things to unfold - but everything is karma.
I have been reading about hopelessness as a spiritual practice lately. Hope is defined as looking for something in the future to change. Faith is trusting what is happening here and now is what we need to do, where we need to be. You stop looking for something in the future to make you happy.
I have to admit it is difficult. So difficult.
I wish the people I love would stop leaving me.
“There are times to cultivate and create, when you nurture your world and give birth to new ideas and ventures. There are times of flourishing and abundance, when life feels in full bloom, energized and expanding. And there are times of fruition, when things come to an end. They have reached their climax and must be harvested before they begin to fade. And finally of course, there are times that are cold, and cutting and empty, times when the spring of new beginnings seems like a distant dream. Those rhythms in life are natural events. They weave into one another as day follows night, bringing, not messages of hope and fear, but messages of how things are.” ~ Chögyam Trungpa