Boxing Day 2008

Thank you to everyone who sent hugs and good intentions my way after my last post. I am glad to report I feel better now. I managed to talk to my mother later in the afternoon. I felt better after that. 

My mom and I just talked about ordinary things. It felt normal. It was as though I never left and she just popped into my room for a chat. Our relationship has been difficult over the years, so it was good to be able to talk like this.

The worst of the holiday blues seemed to have passed. Things do pass, as they say. Now that I am feeling much better, I can start feeling a little embarrassed about how I allowed my emotions to get out of control. But this embarrassment will also pass.

Today is Boxing Day. It's also Friday, so I have the day off. However, I went down to the store anyway to pass the Christmas gifts to my colleagues. 

Among the gifts I received from my colleagues, one came with a note that thanked me for listening when the person needed to talk. That surprised me, because I never really thought of myself as a good listener. I just happened to be available. I didn't know it meant something to her - or that she remembers. It's not as though I helped solve the problem for her. There was nothing else I could do except listen. So I just did that. (Which basically tells me the things I do right are usually done cluelessly. Hmm. The story of my life.) 

The note however, reminds me how powerful it is to simply listen, or pay attention. How important it is to us to be heard, to know that somebody is paying attention to how we feel.

My point is - and I do have one - is thank you to everyone who took the trouble to just drop a comment or an email, who sent me hugs, good thoughts and advice along the way. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts, your hearts, your meditation, your practice. Not just for yesterday, but for everyday. They are reminders that there is someone out there listening/paying attention. 

Thank you for this gift of your friendship.