Barely one week into NaNoWriMo I'm already thinking of chucking what I wrote and writing something else.
Maybe it's because I spent so little time planning the story and the characters; I can accept that I'm clueless on how the plot will turn out, but right now I have no idea how to write the characters. They are new to me, I don't know them, have not decided who they are or what motivates them. This makes it hard for me to write, because when I put two antagonistic characters together, I don't know how they are supposed to react to each other.
The questions that keep popping into my head: Who is smarter? Who is more confident? Why are they fighting? Why do they hate each other? (Is it really just clan-rivalry or sexual jealousy over a woman?) In this argument, what is one character hiding from the other? As I keep making things up, I find myself going back to re-write dialogues that will illustrate these emerging conflicts and background.
It's driving me nuts, not knowing what to do.
When I was studying I used to write a little fanfiction, and some stories of the gothic/fantasy/cyber-punk/noir genre. Before I actually start writing, I spend a lot of time day-dreaming -- something I have always enjoyed on long bus-rides. (Actually, I enjoy the day-dreaming more than the writing) I usually have a chance to create a whole back-story, personality and family history for them -- so when I actually set pen to paper -- I have something to work on.
Right now I'm looking at my main protagonist, Julian: He's a spoiled younger son from a family of Shadow Hunters. He was content to allow his older brother to be the Shadow Hunter while he goes off to be a playboy, professional wakeboarder and stereotypical rich brat. He is a selfish character -- and I have no idea how I'm going to redeem him. Yet.And I'm not even sure how to develop the supporting characters.
If I'm going to change the story I have to do it as soon as possible.
I have just written more than 350 words in a ramble -- and yet I have trouble doing this kind of word-count for NaNoWriMo. This is harder than I thought.