Thursday, January 01, 2009

2009 | To Be More Mindful

I scorn New Year Resolution. Nonetheless, I have decided that in the new year, I will strive to be more mindful of my behaviour. I will strive not to say anything negative about someone - unless I am willing to say it to the person directly.

Bad-mouthing others is a bad habit that I'm still trying to quit. It's counter-productive, it's hurtful - and it's bad for the soul. It also shows a narrowness of spirit.

I also want to read more, write more, move through life more mindfully. I want to live my life as compassionately as I can.

I also want to finish reading all the books I have with me right now - the books I bought, and ones I brought with me to Dubai.

Anyone has any New Year Resolutions?


Anonymous said...

Mine is to learn assertiveness - I have been getting walked over by everyone lately. It's embarassing to be nearly thirty and unable to voice a valid criticism or win an argument. Dubai should be the perfect place to practice this, right?

Iliana said...

I don't do New Year's resolutions either but I like the sound of yours. I for one want to strive for more calm. I want to worry less and like you be more mindful. I like that.

Happy new year!

jenclair said...

These are great goals. I have a lot of trouble with mindfulness; in the midst of thinking about being mindful, my thoughts digress. I try, though.

Another one I keep trying for is nonjudgement. Not there yet, either.

I'm not making new resolutions, per se, this year, but I'm working on some goals for 2009.

Happy New Year!

Anonymous said...

I so have a resolution and i hardly ever have any resolve to do anything!

I'm going to pack my bookshelf, today, after i've finished mindlessly surfing the net.

Packing bookshelves, that's my therapy. :)


darkorpheus said...

Ella - How I feel about Dubai now is that it pushes you to the edge, until there is nothing left. And it boils all the patience out of you so that eventually, all the frustration and resentment surfaces. And that's when we start shouting.

Maybe it's not that you are unable to voice a valid criticism. I've met you and you are articulate. Maybe in most arguments, you don't assume you are always right, so it's harder to win an argument. This might be a good thing - it means you are more open to another side of the story. Don't you hate those people who never listen, who are pushy and always wants things their way?

Real communication isn't about winning. Nobody should be allowed to walk over us.

As for assertiveness - I am an Aries so when I say "No" - I mean it. It makes me a little overbearing at times. I am on the opposite side of the spectrum, I guess. I desperately need to learn to listen to the other side of the argument, and to practice patience and understanding.

I wish you all the best on practicing assertiveness - but don't lose yourself along the way.

Happy 2009.

Iliana - I'm subscribing to the yoga teachers' idea of setting intentions. You identify the things that are important to you - and just set your intentions to live your life in a manner that is consistent with these goals.

Calm and mindfulness are positive intentions. I wish you peace and greater mindfulness in your life.

Happy New Year.

Jenclair - I'm trying for mindfulness too. :)

And I get you on non-judgment. Part of why I find myself complaining and bitching about people is because I can be very judgemental. I believe the root cause of my own judgemental mindset is a failure to exercise compassion and understanding.

It goes back to having to learn to live more compassionately. To listen and empathize more.

Still learning. Still human. :)

Happy New Year.

Ah Leng - I get you on packing bookshelves.

Right now I have a whole bookstore to pack! It's therapeutic because it gives a sense of order that I might not have over my own life.

Karma - what you are going through now is because of past actions, my sister. Practice compassion and mindfulness now and it will get better later.

But you'll have to bite the bullet for what you have now.

Can I just laugh a little bit more at you for the moment? You guys had enough laughter at my expense. :D

Anonymous said...

Yesx, laugh all you want.

Because i know if i were to look at the whole thing from an outsider's viewpoint, i would guffaw as well.

Bite the bullet, if we ever have to work together, then so be it. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

the other day i happened to read my 08 resolution, haha, still trying to reach it. and now it is 2009. nonetheless, i will continue to be mindful. got to make a effort to live a conscious life. another new point which i have add for the coming year, as like yours, I will try not to say anything negative about someone - unless it is to the person directly. to ignore the gossip.

some of the things i have said has been badly distorted by people and some of the things i heard about me which is totally not true. i can't be bother with it and no point to explain. if ppl know you, they know. those who dont, there is no point to clarify because it is waste of time and straining of energy.

sometimes i do reflect and wonder how these came about. it is good to learn and make good out of these experience. Happy New Year to you = ) quietletters

darkorpheus said...

Ah Leng - It's possible to work side-by-side with people that you have estranged relationship with. Did that for more than 2 years. Just stay calm.

quietletters - I hate it when people think they know me, or that they choose to listen to gossip rather than speak to you directly. But that's life, isn't it? We can't let all these bother us, otherwise we will go crazy.

Be brave, stick by your intentions. May 2009 be better for you.

Ana S. said...

I don't normally do resolutions either, but I'd like to try to be less paranoid - less quick to assume that I'm unwelcome/disliked/etc.

I like your goals a lot. Happy New Year!

Stephanie said...

I don't usually make resolutions. I figure I just set myself up to fail if I do. I figure I should just try to live the best I can, and that's that.

Happy New Year to you!!

darkorpheus said...

Nymeth - I guess one way of looking at resolutions is that it' a way of reminding ourselves what is important. And setting out to act in a manner that is supports these intentions.

Happy New Year.

Stephanie - Living the best that we can. That's the best goal actually. We will stumble along the way. But it's okay to fail. Just try again. Fail better.

Happy New Year.