The mind - or the ego - always finds a way to sabotage our best intentions; I stayed in bed this morning just to avoid having to meditate. This meant I finally kicked myself out of bed around 10 am, when I'm usually up by 5 am.
I used to keep to a daily meditation schedule, twice a day, mornings and nights. It was one of those practice that made life and its ensuring chaos seem a little more manageable. Or maybe it just kept my emotions more manageable, and allowed me to deal with bad situations more intelligently.
Things have been feeling a little off-centre recently. I also noticed that the tiniest mishaps or rudeness from colleagues can set me off. Just showing up for yoga classes is not enough. I know I need to sit.
For the first week of the 28 Days Meditation Challenge, I'm supposed to meditate for 20 minutes, twice a day. I allowed myself to sit a little longer this morning because my mind kept drifting. I compared my state of mind this morning to the days when I still maintained a regular practice, and the difference is obvious: Instead of just observing my in-and-out breath, I started thinking about meditating and about the last episode of House I watched last night. My thoughts kept running away with me, and it took a while before I remember to rein them back to the breath. This 28 days will be more challenging than I had expected.
Let's hope tonight I will be more focused.