What Would be the Alternative?

The ego always seek to protect, to harden, to defend. Why put yourself in the position to be hurt by rejection? Why?

What would be the alternative? To stay in that place of alienation? To not make effort to mend hurt, to smooth out misunderstanding. You should try, though you do not control the result. This is better than the alternative - to let friendship stay broken because of pride.

Never let someone out of your heart.

Thanksgiving

I am thankful for my friends, the ones that stayed with me, especially the ones that stayed through my darkest hours, and for the ones no longer here - for the time we shared.

I am thankful that I am here in Cambodia, fulfilling a long time dream of mine.

I am thankful for the quiet time to reflect the past few days.

I am thankful for a heart that remains open in spite of pain. I am thankful for love.

I am have been so blessed my whole life. It took me so long to learn that.

Namaste all.

Blogging from Cambodia

One of my dream was to travel to Cambodia, to see the temples of Angkor. Somehow I never got around to it, until now. I am tired of just dreaming. What is holding me back? Fear? Procrastination? Nothing is holding me back except myself.

Image of Bayon, taken by me on 19 November 2012. The sky was *that* blue.

My Little Yellow Bicycle

As part of my effort to work out more and to reduce my carbon footprint, I have purchased a bike and will start cycling to work. The fact that my chosen bike is cute and a bright egg yolk yellow, and my helmet is cute and a fun grey and yellow helps.

Now, to install the bell and the safety lights.

I am making positive changes in my life bit by bit.

Records for 2012

Books Read 2012

1. Man's Search for Meaning • Viktor Frankl
2. The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them • David Richo
3. Slaughterhouse-Five • Kurt Vonnegut
4. Up at the Villa • W. Somerset Maugham
5. Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? • Jeanette Winterson
6. Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change • Pema Chodron
7. Finding Ultra: Rejecting Middle Age, Becoming One of the World's Fittest Men, and Discovering Myself • Rich Roll
8. Chicken Soup for the Soul: Runners 101 Inspirational Stories of Energy, Endurance, and Endorphins • Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Amy Newmark & Dean Karnazes
9. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead • Brene Brown
10. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate • Gary Chapman
11. Eat & Run: My Unlikely Journey to Ultramarathon Greatness • Scott Jurek with Steve Friedman
12. Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living • Allan Lokos
13. Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail • Cheryl Strayed
14. Are You My Mother? A Comic Drama • Alison Bechdel
15. Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears • Pema Chodron
16. Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow • Elizabeth Lesser
17. Fierce Medicine: Breakthrough Practices to Heal the Body and Ignite the Spirit • Ana T. Forrest
18. The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do and How to Change • Charles Duhigg

Surrender

But what does that word "surrender" mean? As I let myself float that morning, my body fully supported by the warm ebb and flow of the sea, the words of writer Daphne Rose Kingma came to mind: "Surrender is a beautiful movement in which you gracefully, willingly, languidly fall, only to find midway that you have been gathered into some unimaginable embrace. Surrender is letting go, whether or not you believe the embrace will occur. It's trust to the hundredth power--not sticking to your idea of the outcome, but letting go in the faith that even the absence of an outcome will be the perfect solution."

- Finding Ultra, Rich Roll