Forgiveness, Sarah McLachlan

"Forgiveness"

Loving lying enemy
I have seen your face before
Never thought again I’d see
Didn’t want to anymore

I remember your loving eyes
And the moonlit kiss
The evening lullabies I will truly miss
Through the years we had it all
Midnight whispers, the midday calls
This house of cards, it had to fall

And you ask for forgiveness
You’re asking too much
I have sheltered my heart in a place you can’t touch
Don’t believe when you tell me your love is real
Because you don’t know much about heaven boy
If you have to hurt to feel

Every time I see you
I can’t help but look away
All along I had believed everything you’d say
When I look now I know I’ve seen your face before
Don’t want your deceiving smile
Standing at my door
And I don’t care what people say
I’m ready now to face this day

And you ask for forgiveness
You’re asking too much
I have sheltered my heart in a place you can’t touch
Don’t believe when you tell me your love is real
Because you don’t know much about heaven boy
If you have to hurt to feel

Because you don’t know much about heaven boy
if you have to hurt

And you ask for forgiveness
You’re asking too much
I have sheltered my heart in a place you can’t touch
Don’t believe when you tell me your love is real
Because you don’t know much about heaven boy
If you have to hurt to feel

Pema Chodron - on looking for answers

Emerson: Tomorrow is a New Day

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Friend as someone who believes in you

"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself"

Time and time again, I have this illustrated to me. My friends balance me, by offering the other point of view that I sorely need, even as I often stretch their patience. These days though, I am starting to remind myself of the need to stand on my own two feet in believing in myself. I lost myself a while back. It happens. Now is the time to find my bearings and come back again.

Fearless rawness

“Sometimes people find that being tender and raw is threatening and seemingly exhausting. Openness seems demanding and energy-consuming, so they prefer to cover up their tender heart. Vulnerability can sometimes make you nervous. It is uncomfortable to feel so real, so you want to numb yourself. You look for some kind of anesthetic, anything that will provide you with entertainment. Then you can forget the discomfort of reality. People don’t want to live with their basic rawness for even fifteen minutes. When people say they are bored, often they mean that they don’t want to experience the sense of emptiness, which is also an expression of openness and vulnerability. So they pick up the newspaper or read anything else that’s lying around the room—even reading what it says on a cereal box to keep themselves entertained. The search for entertainment to babysit your boredom soon becomes legitimized as laziness. Such laziness actually involves a lot of exertion. You have to constantly crank things up to occupy yourself with, overcoming your boredom by indulging in laziness.

For the warrior, fearlessness is the opposite of that approach. Fearlessness is a question of learning how to be. Be there all along: that is the message. That is quite challenging in what we call the setting-sun world, the world of neurotic comfort where we use everything to fill up the space. On the other hand, if we are in touch with basic goodness, we are always relating to the world directly, choicelessly, whether the energy of the situation demands a destructive or a constructive response. The idea of renunciation is to relate with whatever arises with a sense of sadness and tenderness. We reject the aggressive, hard-core street-fighter mentality. The neurotic upheavals created by overcoming conflicting emotions, or the kleshas, arise from ignorance, or avidya. This is the fundamental ignorance that underlies all ego-oriented activity. Ignorance is very harsh and willing to stick with its own version of things. Therefore, it feels very righteous. Overcoming that is the essence of renunciation: we have no hard edges.

Warriorship is so tender, without skin, without tissue, naked and raw. It is soft and gentle. You have renounced putting on a new suit of armor. You have renounced growing a thick, hard skin. You are willing to expose naked flesh, bone, and marrow to the world.”
~ from Smile At Fear: Awakening The True Heart Of Bravery by Chogyam Trunpga

Colour-coded Baby Cards

My friend Cara is due to deliver her first baby this May. She's excited, and so far everything is fine, according to the doctor. Cara and her husband have opted not to know the baby's gender. They want to be surprised.

I was at the stationary store today and they had a collection of cards for new born babies. Since I have no idea if the baby was going to be a boy or a girl, I needed something a little gender-neutral.

This is when I was dumbfounded; most of the cards to welcome the birth of a new baby are colour-coded: Pink for a New Baby Girl, and Blue for a New Baby Boy. There is only ONE white card for a newborn baby.

Just seems to me that we are terribly fond of stereotyping through colours, even for a babies. I became somewhat disgusted, so I left the store without buying a card.

Something I have been thinking about lately ...

There was a little boy with large anger issues. He rampaged about his life angry at the world, believing it meant him harm. His father observing this gave his son a bag of large nails and told him that every time he felt anger he should hammer a nail in the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence but gradually the number of daily nails dwindled as he discovered it was easier to change his view than to drive those nails into that fence.

Finally the first day came when the boy didn’t feel angry at all and he proudly announced this to his father. His father, in turn, suggested that he now pull out one nail for each day he felt at peace. The days passed slowly but at last the young boy was finally able to report that all the nails were gone. The father led his son by the hand to the fence saying:

“You have done well, but I want you to notice all the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. In much the same way when you express anger, it leaves a scar on you and the other person. With time, compassion, wisdom and understanding most wounds will heal however isn’t it so much easier not to hammer in all those nails to begin with?”

The Dalai Lama's Instructions for life

Came across this the other day:

The Dalai Lama's Instructions for life:

Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
Follow the three R's:
- Respect for self.
- Respect for others.
- Responsibility for all your actions.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
Spend some time alone everyday.
Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
Be gentle with the earth.
Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon."
— Dalai Lama XIV

Steve Jobs: Find Work You Love

"Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

-- Steve Jobs in his famous Stanford Commencement Speech

Tribute to Chögyam Trungpa

Tracy Chapman's "Change"

The heart finally is ready.