Sometimes I think my friend, The Brat is so wise.
She wrote on her blog about how her boss was nice enough to watch out for her, offering to step in should her colleagues make things difficult. But she maintained:
But i told him, "I need to fight my own battles." Which is true. Because if i get him to fight my battles for me, nobody will respect me, not one bit. I wouldn't respect me.
Here I am, upset about my friend for the past two days -- but the moment I read this, something suddenly made sense.
One of the reason behind my frustration with my friend is that I have always been stepping in when she makes a mistake. I thought I was looking out for her, fulfilling the role as a "Big Sister". I was wrong.
All these time that I have to fight her battles for her, a resentment builds up. Day by day, my respect for her wears thin -- and I think she knows it. Every time I step in when she is in trouble, it's a statement -- that I don't think my friend can take care of herself. Am I surprised she would come to resent me?
And isn't it just my ego at work here? She doesn't need me to take care of her. It is partly my deluded sense of self-importance that let me to believe I was her "guardian", that I couldn't just let her on her own.
She is an adult; she will choose her own mistakes. She will fight her own battles, and learn to respect herself in the process.
And I have to learn that I can't undo my own mistakes through her.