Friday, February 15, 2008

We Need To Fight Our Own Battles

Sometimes I think my friend, The Brat is so wise.

She wrote on her blog about how her boss was nice enough to watch out for her, offering to step in should her colleagues make things difficult. But she maintained:

But i told him, "I need to fight my own battles." Which is true. Because if i get him to fight my battles for me, nobody will respect me, not one bit. I wouldn't respect me.

Here I am, upset about my friend for the past two days -- but the moment I read this, something suddenly made sense.

One of the reason behind my frustration with my friend is that I have always been stepping in when she makes a mistake. I thought I was looking out for her, fulfilling the role as a "Big Sister". I was wrong.

All these time that I have to fight her battles for her, a resentment builds up. Day by day, my respect for her wears thin -- and I think she knows it. Every time I step in when she is in trouble, it's a statement -- that I don't think my friend can take care of herself. Am I surprised she would come to resent me?

And isn't it just my ego at work here? She doesn't need me to take care of her. It is partly my deluded sense of self-importance that let me to believe I was her "guardian", that I couldn't just let her on her own.

She is an adult; she will choose her own mistakes. She will fight her own battles, and learn to respect herself in the process.

And I have to learn that I can't undo my own mistakes through her.

6 comments:

Ah Leng said...

You called me "WISE"!

I am so gonna strike that 10mil TOTO draw this thursday.

Dark Orpheus said...

Ah Leng Yeah, but with your karma you'll probably have to share the prize money with 1,000,000 people if you do win. ;p

Ah Leng said...

Pooey, usually don't have so many winners one hor. Even if there are 6 winners, i'm still gonna pocket a couple of million buckaroos!

Dark Orpheus said...

Yeah, but again -- I trust on your screwed up karma. Even if you do strike Toto, your maid will probably accidentally wash the ticket stub with your jeans or whatever.

Ah Leng said...

POOEY!

I keep my lottery tickets in a safe place. No chance of getting it into the wash.

When it comes to S$10mil, i ain't fooling around. :D

P.S. I only have part-time maid and she isn't required to wash clothes, only tasked to mop floor, clean furniture & wipe windows.

Dark Orpheus said...

Ah Leng Aiyah. Didn't win, right?