"it's always time for dinner once a day"

"I love how it's always time for dinner once a day," Jane said, "no matter what human tragedies are going on: even in places where sometimes there is no dinner, as Syl would point out, there's still that time in the evening when you hunker down with your fellow humans and try to keep warm."

Maxine managed to hold back, all at once, a sharp comment about the bromides of politically correct Syl, an affection-deflecting remark about how this hand-holding was too little, too late, and a self-deprecating joke and her own dinners, which were almost always solitary, totally devoid of warm fellow humans. Instead, she briefly tightened her hand around Jane's -- she hoped not too awkwardly -- and smiled -- she hoped warmly -- then got up to assemble the sandwiches.

~ from Something from Kate Christensen's The Great Man

The Guardian "Ten Rules for Writing Fiction: Geoff Dyer

Geoff Dyer

1 Never worry about the commercial possibilities of a project. That stuff is for agents and editors to fret over – or not. Conversation with my American publisher. Me: "I'm writing a book so boring, of such limited commercial appeal, that if you publish it, it will probably cost you your job." Publisher: "That's exactly what makes me want to stay in my job."

2 Don't write in public places. In the early 1990s I went to live in Paris. The usual writerly reasons: back then, if you were caught writing in a pub in England, you could get your head kicked in, whereas in Paris, dans les cafés . . . Since then I've developed an aversion to writing in public. I now think it should be done only in private, like any other lavatorial activity.

3 Don't be one of those writers who sentence themselves to a lifetime of sucking up to Nabokov.

4 If you use a computer, constantly refine and expand your autocorrect settings. The only reason I stay loyal to my piece-of-shit computer is that I have invested so much ingenuity into building one of the great auto­correct files in literary history. Perfectly formed and spelt words emerge from a few brief keystrokes: "Niet" becomes "Nietzsche", "phoy" becomes "photography" and so on. Genius!

5 Keep a diary. The biggest regret of my writing life is that I have never kept a journal or a diary.

6 Have regrets. They are fuel. On the page they flare into desire.

7 Have more than one idea on the go at any one time. If it's a choice between writing a book and doing nothing I will always choose the latter. It's only if I have an idea for two books that I choose one rather than the other. I always have to feel that I'm bunking off from something.

8 Beware of clichés. Not just the clichés that Martin Amis is at war with. There are clichés of response as well as expression. There are clichés of observation and of thought – even of conception. Many novels, even quite a few adequately written ones, are clichés of form which conform to clichés of expectation.

9 Do it every day. Make a habit of putting your observations into words and gradually this will become instinct. This is the most important rule of all and, naturally, I don't follow it.

10 Never ride a bike with the brakes on. If something is proving too difficult, give up and do something else. Try to live without resort to per­severance. But writing is all about perseverance. You've got to stick at it. In my 30s I used to go to the gym even though I hated it. The purpose of going to the gym was to postpone the day when I would stop going. That's what writing is to me: a way of postponing the day when I won't do it any more, the day when I will sink into a depression so profound it will be indistinguishable from perfect bliss.




[ Excerpts from The Guardian "Ten Rules for Writing Fiction" | Part I | Part II ]

QUOTE | Books we can't make sense of

"The books we can't make sense of, that knock us off-kilter, that we don't accept readily, will often be the books that matter most to the next generation. In fact, that's generally the sign of a really important book: it doesn't fit into our received expectations, it bothers us, it 'doesn't work.' Sometimes an ambitious failure is more worth having than a successful little novel that is perfectly well done."

~ Michael Dirda

Reading Distracted

I was reading Find Your Focus Zone earlier. It's a non-fiction title on attention. These days I find myself too easily distracted and I needed some good advice on now to regain focus on the tasks around me. But I was at the library earlier and naturally, I picked up some new books and I am now distracted by Kate Christensen's The Epicure's Lament.

Some habits are hard to crack. :\

YOGA | Finding Balance with John Friend

Excerpted from the Anusara Yoga Grand Gathering DVD, John Friend will guide you through playful arm balances. Before you begin, make sure to warm up with Sun Salutations, gentle backbends, and a few hip opening poses.

YOGA | Seane Corn Demonstrates "Body Prayer"

The only way to come back, is to start from Square 1.

Pixie Lott - 'Use Somebody' ( Kings Of Leon Acoustic Cover)

Dear God - Sarah McLachlan version

I was messaging a new Facebook friend earlier. We started talking about irony, and being bemused by humans a lot. I told her: irony is the reason I believe there is a god; there has to be somebody out there laughing at us.

Irony of course, is that my new friend posted a Yotube video of "Dear God" before she read my message. I'm posting the Sarah McLachlan version instead - because I super puffy heart Sarah McLachlan. (I can be very single-minded when I want to be)

One wonders though, why a god would makes us humans - gifted with intelligence, resourcefulness, yet so crippled by base instincts. That's a whole theological debate there. Most of us ordinary human beings can only wonder, and maybe joke about it a little. Still, no small surprise that my new friend is also a big Terry Pratchett fan. I guess us bemused sort find a familiar chord in Pratchett's stories.

Dear God
Hope you got the letter and...
I pray you can make it better down here
I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer
But all the people that you made in your image
See them starving on their feet
Cause they don't get enough to eat
From God
I can't believe in you
Dear God
Sorry to disturb you but...
I feel that I should be hear loud and clear
We all need a big reduction
In the amount of tears
And all the people that you made in your image
See them fighting in the street
Cause they can't make opinions meet about God
I can't believe in you
Did you make disease
and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind
after we made you?
And the devil too?
Dear God,
Don't know if you noticed but...
Your name is on a lot of quotes in this book
And as crazy humans wrote it
you should take a look
And all the people that you made in your image
Still believeing that junk is true
Well I know it ain't and so do you, dear God
I can't believe in
I don't believe in
I won't believe in heaven and hell
no saints no sinners no devil as well
no pearly gate no thorny crown
you're always letting us humans down
the wars you bring
the babes you drown
those lost at sea and never found
and it's all the same the whole world round
the hurt I see helps to compound
That Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
is just somebody's unholy hoax
And if you're up there you'd perceive
That my heart's here upon my sleeve
If there's one thing I don't believe in...
It's you, dear God.

BOOKS | Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk

[02/03/2010 ~ 09/03/2010]

Just had an urge to re-read Fight Club recently. I first read Fight Club many years ago - before the film with Brad Pitt, Helena Bonham Carter and Edward Norton was even mentioned. I enjoyed its anarchic energy. It was the kind of book that appealed to the anarchist within me, someone who is more than a little embittered by a consumerism culture, yet so trapped within it that we appreciate anyone who imagines a way out.

I guess I am now back to that stage of my life where I find my existence has become stagnant and demanding change. To destroy everything around me so that I can make it into something better.

Our reading lists are rarely as innocent as we think they are.

PS: As you can probably tell - I am desperately trying to get back to reading and blogging about books. Trying.

2010 sucks

Just found out one of my friend passed away yesterday -- it was a stroke. The last time I saw her, it was right before I left for Dubai. We were supposed to catch up. We loved her so much.

She was 33 years old. This is so wrong.

2010 | Fresh Start

New Year. Wipe the slate clean. Let it all begin. Again.

2009 has not been a good year for my readings. When it was finally confirmed that I was coming back for good last September, I packed my things in a hurry. I left a lot of things behind -- a lot of books. Amazing how I acquire possession so quickly.

I started reading Mikkel Birkegaard's The Library of Shadows a few days ago. It's translated from Danish, a literary thriller about books and reading.

We'll see how it goes.

RECORDS FOR 2009

1. The Redbreast • Jo Nesbø [translated from the Norwegian by Don Bartlett]
2. Paper Towns • John Green
3. The Shock Doctrine • Naomi Klein

MUSIC | Skunk Anansie, "Hedonism"

I hope you're feeling happy now
I see you feel no pain at all it seems
I wonder what you're doin' now
I wonder if you think of me at all
do you still play the same moves now
or are those special moods
for someone else

I hope you're feeling happy now
just because you feel good
doesn't make you right
just because you feel good
still want you here tonight
does laughter still discover you
I see through all the smiles
that look so right
do you still have the same friends now
to smoke away your problems and your life
oh how do you remember
me the one that made
you laugh until you cried

I hope you're feeling happy now
just because you feel good doesn't make you right
just because you feel good still want you here tonight
I wonder what you're doing now
I hope you're feeling happy now
I hope you're feeling happy now

The Lion, the Unicorn and Me by Jeanette Winterson

Re-telling of the nativity story.

Read

Brief Update: 13th December 2009

It's 2:02 am on a Sunday. The date on my laptop says it's 13th December 2009. Time has slipped pass me indeed.

I just came out of a MSN chat with a friend. We argued - we have been doing that a lot lately. There is just too much unresolved tension between us. It can be uncomfortable when a friendship seem to have sidestepped into a kind of romantic/sexual attraction. I am not sure if I am ready to deal with this right now. Neither of us knows what to do.

I'm still trying to come out of the fog at the moment. Things have not been ideal - but real life rarely is. I'm trying to keep thing simple right now: Re-establish a regular yoga practice. Get a social life. Read a little more. I don't think I am ready for anything more complicated. A relationship feels too messy for me to deal with at this point.

I find it harder to read these days. Again - the problem with a short attention span. I am reading Victoria Finlay's Colour right now, a journey discovering the colours of the paintbox. I thought it would be interesting - but I guess some colours interest me more than others. We are on black and brown right now, and as intriguing as the history behind these colours are, I really want to find out more about the more vibrant shades. Give me the blues. Give me the reds. But life is truly interesting because of all its infinite varieties, isn't it?

I also have Laurie R. King's The Language of Bees available. Old favourites comfort me.

Just keeping things simple right now. Maybe I should start making a list of books I would like to read for 2010. It seems like a good way of getting myself back into the reading game.

I hope everyone had a good year. I had some pretty depressing moments in 2009, but I know I also met some good people this year - good friends that I would love to keep.

Life is interesting precisely because it is not perfect.

Within Temptation, "Forgiven"

A Brief Return To This Blog

Dear Friends,

Hi, I'm back after an absence of several months. Where have I been? I'm still online -- but I have been almost exclusively on Facebook. It's a long story -- mainly I have been too involved in a Mafia War clan, which has taken up too much of my time.

Some of you have expressed concerns over my absence from the blogsphere. Thank you for the concern. I will be back soon, I promise. I guess the truth is, I found it difficult to blog these past year. The time spent in Dubai has not been healthy for me. I find that I am only able to write comfortably if I can find an emotional anchor. These past year have been a series of emotional upheaval. I couldn't centre myself sufficiently to stay coherent in my own thoughts anymore. I couldn't even find the peace of mind to read anymore. Which is an irony, since I work in a bookstore. I have stopped being a vegetarian. I have stopped my yoga practice. My life as I have known it, has stopped.

So I played Mafia Wars instead.

I guess this is just a note to my friends to say, "Hi, I ain't dead." But most importantly, I am happy to announce that my HR Department has confirmed the last day of my one-year term in Dubai will end on 31st August 2009. This means 10 days from today, I will no longer be bonded to the Dubai store. My ticket for home is for 14th September.

There is a slight anxiety at the back of my mind about coming home without a job. My colleagues have been trying to persuade me to stay in Dubai for a 2nd year. I considered it very briefly -- I have given HR the figure I need to extend my contract. They have reverted on what they are will to pay -- which is less than half of what I asked for.

I said no. I could have told them not to insult me. After one year here, I know what I am worth. They can take their offer and stuff it up their arse.

I have given one year of my youth here. After this one year I have decided life is too short. This is not the place for me. Time to move on.

My Department Manager asked me what are my plans. I have none. I will have to watch my spending. I may travel -- maybe to the Philippines. I have a friend living there that I met online. It would be interesting to actually meet her in person.

But we shall see. So many things are uncertain right now. I will worry about them later.

~ darkorpheus

Spoof Video of Total Eclipse of the Heart

The MTV for "Total Eclipse of the Heart" was ridiculous, with their bad hair-do and strangely garbed dancers (ninja dancers who twirl). It took more than a decade for someone to make a spoof video of just how ridiculous it is though.

If you want a good laugh, you seriously need to watch this video. Trust me. I watched several times and I still laughed every time.

Total Eclipse spoof
Uploaded by chinesedaughter.

Forget the Em-Dash, Go Semi-Colon

Lionel Shriver, author of We Need to Talk About Kevin, writing about the beauty of the semi-colon.

Besides, the semicolon is supple as well. It may imply relatedness; it may imply contrast. With perfect clarity, it nimbly separates elements of a list that themselves contain elements of a list. For example, "These days, the semicolon exudes an aura of the fusty, the fastidious, and the defunct; of mildewed stacks, tight hair buns, and prissily sharpened pencils; of hesitancy, diffidence, and uncertainty, in contrast to the em-dash, which exudes a spirit of strength, flair, and decisiveness."

Full essay

Some films adapted from books feel so right - that is, until you watch it and you realise how the director got it all wrong; It was totally different from how you imagined it when you read the book.

I'm still hopeful that one day I will be able to finish reading all of Colette's books (and she wrote so much, some of which have gone out of print in their English translations). I also happen to be a big fan of Michelle Pfeiffer. Which was why my initial reaction to the news of Cheri - the film adapted from Colette's Cheri - was delight. Then I saw the trailer, and I was a little hesitant.

Why? Because it felt too light-hearted - almost as though it was a romantic comedy. For Colette, her body was her temple - but she was uncannily self-aware of the nuances and contradictions of human emotions. Colette's books are lush masterpieces where you walk through the labyrinth of the human heart. They are complicated, layered narratives. This trailer, in spite of the sheer beauty and perfect bone-structure of Michelle Pfeiffer herself - makes me suspicious of the worthiness of the adaptation.

Still, I want to see Michelle Pfeiffer - who is now 50 years old - as a cougar of the Belle Epoque.