“10 signs a book has been written by me” meme

1. At least one of the characters will be into punk-rock. Or the cello.
2. At least one of the characters practice yoga or is a yoga teacher.
3. There will be at least one beautiful red-head.
4. There will be pain.
5. Characters will have unusual or exotic names like Bodhi, Autumn Dusk, Allegra, Midnight Blue, Radha.
6. The story will end with someone losing or letting go of someone they love.
7. It will be an epistolary novel.
8. There will be lesbian(s). With tattoos.
9. There will be reference to some kind of myths or Greek plays.
10. There will be at least one appearance by an existential vampire.