Book Haul from San Francisco and New York 2015

Just putting it here.

Village Voice on the Sleater-Kinney tour

"It cannot be stated enough that Sleater-Kinney’s impact on rock ‘n’ roll is absolutely essential. They’ve never compromised their sound, politics, or work ethic, using the hiatus to pursue personal projects, each with their various merits. But there is little that compares to the magic that happens when they come together."

- Village Voice, on the Sleater-Kinney New York tour [full essay]

Sleater-Kinney's Set List

Great article covering Sleater-Kinney's recent New York tour, and the band's set list. [ full essay ] It shows the kind of decision that goes the scene, as the band tries to make it an optimum experience for the fans. It's never just about a band in front of an audience, but almost like an exchange of energy. It's also fun to have them switch things around, so that it rewards fans that follow them every night of their tour.

Sleater-Kinney’s sprint down memory lane ended in a space reminiscent of the tiny, unpolished spots the group played in its early days, Market Hotel, where someone doodled the letters “S K” and hearts on the fogged-out windows behind the stage, and the elevated M train was visible rattling by. “In a way, it was interesting to be in that position again, to be on stage and thinking, ‘Oh my God, I’m going to be deaf after this show.’ It definitely became very scrappy and energetic,” Ms. Weiss said. (Which explains the condition of that night’s set list, pictured above). “I remember those days and I feel like we became a good band in venues like that, but I don’t have to play those venues to prove that we are still true to the music and still raw. I still feel that raw, even in a bigger place. People could just get closer. It was for the hard-core fans.”

Sleater-Kinney in New York 2015

Hope everyone is enjoying the lead up to the festive season. I just came back from a two week trip to San Francisco and New York. It was a blast - the climax being the two back-to-back Sleater-Kinney concerts I managed to catch as they are rounding up 2015 with a 5 concert tour in New York. I've been a big fan of Sleater-Kinney for a long time, and was totally heart-broken when they went on "indefinite hiatus". Ten years later, they are back. It's been a long journey, and I am so thankful for the opportunity to see them 'live' in concert - even if that meant long hours standing in line, in the cold, with aching feet and a hot, sweaty frontline gallery later. I am thankful that they never gave up on the music. Thank you so much.

I was at Kings Theatre, Brooklyn when the band did a cover of the Ramones' 'Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight)'. Carrie was in that very same dress. It was pretty much just awesome sauce.

Carrie Brownstein, in conversation with Dave Eggers

Carrie Brownstein, in conversation with Dave Eggers. Overall, a funny and interesting interview. I particularly like how she described the Sleater-Kinney sound. I find it difficult to put my finger on why I love their music so much, and I often am at a loss when I had to describe their music to friends. It is powerful, fast, passionate, extreme, terrible and beautiful all at once> It is not "settled music", as Brownstein explained:

"First of all, Sleater-Kinney is not a band that people usually play at restaurants. For a reason: It’s not settled music, and it doesn’t make people feel settled. It’s not really background music. I’ve realized. Because of that - It’s true: I don’t recognize it.

"I remember being at a hair salon and hearing this really fast song. And I just thought, Wow, this is a really disruptive thing to play while I’m trying to relax and get my haircut. And then I realize it was ‘Dig Me Out’. But, it has a velocity to it, and it’s scary. And it’s unrecognizable. I only recognize it from the inside, I guess. I recognize those songs through playing them. But when I’m hearing them back, I’m unsure of how fearsome they are. They’re very intense.

100 BOOKS | 100 Books to Read 2015

This is the list in progress for my readings in 2015.

1. If the Oceans Were Ink • Carla Power
   [ 15/08/2015 ~
2. Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books • Azar Nafisi
   [ 27/09/2015 ~
3. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks • Rebecca Skloot
   
4. Authority: Book 2 of the Southern Reach Trilogy • Jeff VanderMeer
   [ 30/08/2015 ~
5. Acceptance: Book 3 of the Southern Reach Trilogy • Jeff VanderMeer
6. Girl in a Band: A Memoir • Kim Gordon
   [ 02/08/2015 ~
7. Loitering: New & Collected Essays • Charles D'Ambrosio
   [ 21/07/2015 ~
8. The Argonauts • Maggie Nelson
   [ 28/05/2015 ~
9. H is for Hawk • Helen Macdonald
   [ 18/05/2015 ~
10. I'm Your Man: The Life of Leonard Cohen • Sylvie Simmons
    [ 25/04/2015 ~
11. The Empathy Exams • Leslie Jamison
    [ 22/04/2015 ~
12. The Buried Giant • Kazuo Ishiguro
    [ 07/03/2015 ~
13. The Nuns of Sant'Ambrogio: The True Story of a Convent in Scandal • Hubert Wolf
    [Translated by Ruth Martin]
    [ 16/03/2015 ~
14. Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace • Anne Lamott
    [ 04/12/2014 ~
15. What Days Are For: A Memoir • Robert Dessaix
    [ 20/11/2014 ~
16. A History of the World in Twelve Maps • Jerry Brotton
17. Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence • Rick Hanson
18. Running and Being • Dr George Sheehan
19. Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom • Rick Hanson
20. The Wisdom of Yoga: A Seeker's Guide to Extraordinary Living • Stephen Cope
21. The Sanity We Are Born With: A Buddhist Approach to Psychology • Chogyam Trungpa
22. Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism • Chogyam Trungpa
23. Smile at Fear: Awakening the True Heart of Bravery • Chogyam Trungpa
24. The Emotional Life of Your Brain: How Its Unique Patterns Affect the Way You Think, Feel, and Live--and How You Can Change Them • Richard J. Davidson & Sharon Begley
25. Grain Brain: The Surprising Truth about Wheat, Carbs, and Sugar--Your Brain's Silent Killers • David Perlmutter & Kristin Loberg
26. Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: An Indian History of the American West • Dee Brown
27. Blue Plate Special: An Autobiography of My Appetites • Kate Christensen
28. The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals • Michael Pollan
29. In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto • Michael Pollan
30. Cooked: A Natural History of Transformation • Michael Pollan
31. Empire of the Summer Moon: Quanah Parker and the Rise and Fall of the Comanches, the Most Powerful Indian Tribe in American History • S. C. Gwynne
32. Dearie: The Remarkable Life of Julia Child • Bob Spitz
33. Love Your Enemies: How to Break the Anger Habit & Be a Whole Lot Happier • Sharon Salzberg
34. Provence, 1970: M.F.K. Fisher, Julia Child, James Beard, and the Reinvention of American Taste • Luke Barr
35. Running with the Buffaloes: A Season Inside with Mark Wetmore, Adam Goucher, and the University of Colorado Men's Cross Country Team • Chris Lear
36. The Age of Insight: The Quest to Understand the Unconscious in Art, Mind, and Brain, from Vienna 1900 to the Present • Eric Kandel
37. The Source of All Things: A Memoir • Tracy Ross
38. No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva •  Pema Chodron
39. Quiet: The Power of Introverts • Susan Cain
40. The Old Ways: A Journey on Foot • Robert MacFarlane
41. A Tale for the Time Being • Ruth Ozeki
42. David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants • Malcolm Gladwell
43. When Women Were Birds: Fifty-Four Variations on Voice • Terry Tempest Williams
44. Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation • Sharon Salzberg
45. Hild • Nicola Griffith
46. Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind • Shunryu Suzuki
47. Lady Audley's Secret • Mary Elizabeth Braddon
48. The Names of the Rose • Umberto Eco
49. Dune • Frank Herbert
50. The Stars My Destination • Alfred Bester
51. Jane Eyre • Charlotte Bronte
52. The Windup Girl • Paolo Bacigalupi
53. Regenesis • C.J. Cherryh
54. Among Others • Jo Walton
55. The City & The City • China Miéville
56. Baghdad Sketches (1932) • Freya Stark
57. The Valleys of the Assassins and Other Persian Travels (1934) [On Mazandaran, Iran]• Freya Stark
58. The Southern Gates of Arabia: A Journey in the Hadhramaut (1936)• 
59. A Winter in Arabia (1940) [On Hadhramaut] • 
60. Perseus in the Wind (1948). [Essays on philosophy and literature] • 
61. Ionia, A Quest (1954) • Freya Stark
62. The Lycian Shore (1956) [On Turkey] • Freya Stark
63. Alexander's Path: From Caria to Cilicia (1958) [On Turkey] • Freya Stark
64. The Zodiac Arch (1968) [Miscellaneous essays] • Freya Stark
65. The Minaret of Djam: An Excursion into Afghanistan (1970) • Freya Stark
66. Where the Stress Falls • Susan Sontag
67. On Photography • Susan Sontag
68. Reborn: Journals and Notebooks, 1947-1963 • Susan Sontag
69. Against Interpretation: And Other Essays • Susan Sontag
70. As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks, 1964-1980 • Susan Sontag
71. The Histories • Herodotus
72. Shantaram • Gregory David Roberts
73. The Magicians • Lev Grossman
74. The Magician King • Lev Grossman
75. The Magician's Land • Lev Grossman
76. Their Eyes Were Watching God • Zora Neale Hurston
77. A Fine Balance • Rohinton Mistry
78. Ancillary Justice • Ann Leckie
79. Ancillary Sword • Ann Leckie
80. The Little Stranger • Sarah Waters
81. The Paying Guests • Sarah Waters
82. The Trauma of Everyday Life • Mark Epstein
    [ 15/09/2014 ~
83. Encyclopedia of Trouble and Spaciousness • Rebecca Solnit
    [ 26/11/2014 ~ 18/01/2015 ]
84. The Outsider • Albert Camus
    Translated from the French by Sandra Smith
    [ 01/10/2014 ~ 19/01/2015 ]
85. The Art of Stillness: Adventures in Going Nowhere • Pico Iyer
    [ 19/01/2015 ~ 25/01/2015 ]
86. Station Eleven: A Novel • Emily St. John Mandel
    [ 23/11/2014 ~ 04/02/2015 ]
87. Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith • Anne Lamott
    [ 15/10/2013 ~ 09/02/2015 ]
88. Travels with Herodotus • Ryszard Kapuscinski
    translated from the Polish by Klara Glowczewska
    [ 05/02/2015 ~ 15/02/2015 ]
89. Wild: A Journey from Lost to Found • Cheryl Strayed
    [ 25/01/2015 ~ 14/03/2015 ]
90. Bluets • Maggie Nelson
    [ 09/06/2015 ~ 17/06/2015 ]
91. My Fight/Your Fight • Ronda Rousey
    [ 27/06/2015 ~ 13/08/2015 ]
92. The Shepherd's Crown • Terry Pratchett
    [ 28/08/2015 ~ 29/08/2015 ]
93. Annihilation: Book 1 of the Southern Reach Trilogy • Jeff VanderMeer
    [ 28/08/2015 ~ 30/08/2015 ]
The Inheritance Trilogy • N. K. Jemisin
94. The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms
    [ 06/09/2015 ~ 13/09/2015 ]
95. The Broken Kingdoms
    [ 13/09/2015 ~ 26/09/2015 ]
96. The Kingdom of Gods
    [ 26/09/2015 ~ 17/10/2015 ]
97. Fail Fail Again Fail Better • Pema Chodron
    [ 31/10/2015 ~ 02/11/2015 ]
98. M Train • Patti Smith
    [ 13/10/2015 ~ 16/11/2015 ]
99. Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl • Carrie Brownstein
    [ 14/11/2015 ~ 05/12/2015 ]
100. Slouching Towards Bethlehem: Essays • Joan Didion
     [ 27/11/2015 ~ 10/12/2015 ]

NYPL Podcast: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and Zadie Smith

I love the series of podcast available from the New York Public Library. Last week I listened to this dialogue between Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and Zadie Smith. Chimamanda in particular blew me away with her humour, her groundedness, her intelligence.

"When I was 25 I didn’t think in those terms. I didn’t think in that language of ‘I want to find my purpose’. I would advise very strongly that you not think in those terms. It just clouds your head, and you start thinking ‘I have to find my purpose’. I think you should just live. Life is short, do your thing, you just never know, follow what you love… follow what can give you a job so you can eat. There’s something about our culture, everywhere in the world, that makes people think about ‘find your purpose’ and it’s just – why?"

[Listen to the full podcast here]

The Guardian interviews Carrie Brownstein

Interview with Carrie Brownstein from The Guardian. This interview tries to get a little more behind the person, but it seems the real Carrie Brownstein is elusive and revealing at the same time - but isn't this exactly why fans want to read the memoirs?

New York Times reviews Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl

New York Times reviews Carrie Brownstein's Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl. I'm still waiting for the title to reach our side of the ocean.

In an interview with Bust magazine last year, she talked about some of her younger fans: “They just see me as this person they know from television, and then they listen to Sleater-Kinney, and they think: ‘What is this scary music? You seem so happy on the show. What’s wrong? Why are you so upset?’ ”

Patti Smith Interview with Harper's Bazaar

JJB: I have too many books.

PS: I gave away 20 boxes, but it didn't make a dent. It's terrible. I'll have a whole library to write one song. Sometimes there's a jewel, a bit in one book and a bit in another .… It's like an unfolding screen of the four seasons. You say, "If I get rid of that, then there's no more autumn." I remember when my mother was my age. She'd collected a lot of stuff she bought in thrift stores, at flea markets. Then one day I came to visit her, and the house looked very empty. I said, "Mommy, where are your dolls? Where are the plates?" She'd packed them away. I said, "Are you all right? You're not sick …" She said, "No, I'm keeping the things I like the best. You get to a certain time in your life where you don't want to be fettered by all of your things. You want to have some lightness." Now I understand. This year I put everything into my little house in Rockaway, and now I want to keep my life as unfettered as possible. So maybe I'll just pretend to get rare books from my catalogue, and not really get them.

Harper's Bazaar interview with Patti Smith. [ full interview ]

Gaiman, on Terry Pratchett

Neil Gaiman sharing his memories of Terry Pratchett and writing, with Michael Chabon. It's funny, and touching, and makes me want to re-read Good Omens.

PATTI SMITH | Reading M Train

I'm reading Patti Smith's M Train slowly, allowing her voice to flow through me. This is what happens when the writer has a distinct "voice" in their writing. I stop, and I want to "listen" to that voice in my head. I want the process to be comfortable, and allow it as much time as it needs. That's how I feel right now as I'm reading M Train.

My bias for travel makes me think of this book as travel writing. Yes, in this book, she writes about the various places she had been. She doesn't quite do the usual tourist destinations. There is a method to her journeys, and it is usually to follow the footsteps of a writer, or an artist. She took a photo of Frida Kahlo's bed, she took a photo of the chair Robert Bolano sat in. She traveled to laid stones on Jean Genet's grave.

I am reminded of how someone asked me last year, after my trip to Paris - Did you visit the Eiffel Tower? No, I did not. And there was a questioning look. Who goes to Paris and not go see the Eiffel Tower?

But why do I need to? Our journey is ours, and all we truly need to do, is to listen to the whispers in our hearts. To follow that voice that tells us where to go, and what to see. Who cares what is written in the guide books or tripadvisor? Your own yearning should be the true compass.

This is why I enjoy this series of Patti Smith's journeys. She is guided by her own yearnings, her own idiosyncrasies. There is not greater testimony to a life lived true to oneself.

2014 Interview with Carrie Brownstein

I'm waiting for Carrie Brownstein's memoir to arrive at the local bookstores. As the publicity rolls out for the book, I found this 2014 interview with Carrie - it's great to see her articulate, witty, and very, very funny.

She just makes you want to pack up and move to Portland:

Interviewer: “Do you have a distinct impression of Portland when you were growing up?”

Carrie: “No, I didn’t even know it existed.”

....

Carrie: “Portland is a city, seems like it’s designed by an eight year old. If you imagine asking a kid like, ‘What do you want for your city?’

‘Well, I want my house to painted blue. With a yellow trim. And all the buildings will look like Lego. All the people will wait in line. To vote? No, for ice cream. And, you know what? I’ll never have to dress up. I’ll never have to put on a suit. All the adults will play bass guitars. And have a donut shop. What will the donuts be shaped like? Like penises’.”

And I have not met many people who truly use 'flummoxed' in conversation. Well played.

New York Times, on Patti Smith's M Train

Michiko Kakutani, on Patti Smith's M Train:

“M Train” feels more like a look at the past through a rearview mirror. Ms. Smith writes of feeling “a longing for the way things were.” She writes about ghosts drawing us away from the present. She writes about singing “What a Wonderful World” for Fred at his memorial service and she writes about realizing that she is now older than Fred when he died — and older than many of her departed friends.

“I’m going to remember everything,” she thinks, “and then I’m going to write it all down. An aria to a coat. A requiem for a cafe.” An eloquent — and a deeply moving — elegy for what she has “lost and cannot find” but can remember in words.

[ Full essay ]

Finished Michael Dirda's "Browsings"

I just finished Michael Dirda's Browsings. While I enjoyed his previous books on books, the reading of books, and the life of books - this one didn't quite hit me with the same enthusiasm. I am trying to put my finger on why this is so - although it is unfair to expect to love every single book written by an author. There will always be some books that we prefer over others.

My preliminary guess would be that I find it hard to relate to some of the things he wrote about. It's not so much his themes, but more of the authors and books he mentioned. He reads a lot, and he reads a lot of unknown, out-of-print, obscure authors - which you wouldn't quite find them so readily in a modern library. Which is a real shame this time.

Looking forward to Patti Smith's 'The M Train'

The New York Times featured some books about places. Among them, Patti Smith's The M Train was featured.

In “M Train,” to be published next month, Ms. Smith writes about her life in New York, her love of cafes, her favorite books and television shows, her cats, her memories, joyful and melancholy, of her husband, the guitarist Fred Smith. But it is her travels — idiosyncratic, ritualistic, vividly recalled — that provide a unifying theme. “I believe in movement,” she writes. “I believe in that lighthearted balloon, the world.”

Oliver Sacks Reading List

From Gizmodo.

Thoughts about Ronda Rousey

I was trying to think of what to write after finishing Ronda Rousey's biography, My Fight/Your Fight. In case you have no idea (really?), Ronda Rousey is the first woman fighter to make it to the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC), and is still its reigning champion and shining poster girl. She has captured people's imagination, with her fierce combat prowess, and her personality. In her book, she mentioned the advice she got about acting - it's not good acting that makes people pay money to watch the movie. It's the actors - people pay money to watch the personality of the actors. I thought it's a valid point - that's probably why I pay money to watch Angelina Jolie, who essentially is just playing Angelina Jolie in every single movie she does. This charisma of the character is pretty much why Ronda Rousey captured my imagination, and why I ended up reading her biography.

I was at a loss about what to say about the good. It is an engaging read, and easy to read. Every character starts with a nugget of Ronda's life philosophy, so it had a touch of a motivational read. It wasn't until I came across this article, Ronda Rousey vs Daddy's Little Girl, that I thought of what I wanted to say.

The article is from the point of view of a father of a 9 year old girl who wanted to be just like Ronda Rousey.

I asked my daughter if she knew who Ronda Rousey is. She gave me the “please, Daddy” face, and said yes, “Ronda is the Queen of Boxing.” I asked her if she’s bothered that her admirers called Ronda a “beast.” “No, Daddy,” she said. “That’s a compliment. It means she’s better than anyone else. Better like me. She fights to show she’s better than the rest, and other people’s opinions shouldn’t stop her dream.”

The child is actually training with her 7 year old brother in fighting, and the training routine is intense. The writer has no answer to his little girl who wants to be something not-quite like the usual Daddy's Little Girl. He grapples with what Ronda Rousey represents for people, and how MMA is a sport where violence is at the core of what they do, the increased risk for brain damage for professional fighters. He rationalises Ronda Rousey's rise in UFC, in a sport once dominated only by men, and what it now means. Against this is, I read how because women are now occupying these new spaces in our cultural consciousness, and how it's allowing our daughters to reimagine who they want to be - and the subsequent unease as parents have to reimagine what their daughters are going to grow up to be. The writer didn't quite answer the question. I guess not all questions can be easily answered.

For me though, I would say this to my daughter: When you watch the way Ronda Rousey fights, think about how she got this powerful. Look behind the fierceness, the power, and see the hard work behind it. Understand that Ronda Rousey trained really hard to get this strong. I want my child to see the discipline Rousey needed to keep showing up and doing the same judo-throws a thousand times over, and then a thousand times more, to get it right. Bruce Lee said: “I am not afraid of a person who knows 10000 kicks. But I am afraid of a person who knows one kick but practices it for 10000 times.”

"Learn her discipline,"I would tell my daughter. "Learn her work ethics. Then apply this to your entire life."

Ronda Rousey on Her Fights, Her Book and 'Entourage'

I just started reading Ronda Rousey's book, My Fight/Your Fight (yes, on top of other books). The prose is straightforward, uncomplicated, with a frankness that feels comfortable. I'm curious about the person that is Ronda Rousey - who has captured my attention, and my imagination lately. I was watching her interview with the Washington Post earlier (interview below) - and she was very articulate, down to earth, and funny. I couldn't quite believe she had difficulty with speech when she was younger. Her humour - it was something I wasn't quite expecting, and it made the interview so enjoyable.

Sleater-Kinney perform at the Pitchfork Music Festival 2015

What I would do to be there!

"Bury Our Friends"

"Entertain"

BOOKS | 10 Books Carrie Brownstein Could't Live Without

The 10 Books Carrie Brownstein Couldn't Live Without

A curated listed, by Carrie Brownstein.

BOOKS | 10 Best Southern Gothic

Look: 10 Best Southern Gothic books. Or at least, a list of recommended Southern Gothic titles to read!

Looking forward to the Brownstein Memoir

Looking forward to Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl - Carrie Brownstein's memoir. Coming out Oct 2015.

Thoughts about Orange is the New Black Season 3

I binged watched season 3 of Orange is the New Black over the weekend. (This is going to be somewhat spoilery, so don't say I didn't warn you) It wasn't as fun as season 2, but there were a few surprises in character development that I look forward to. Not everyone is a fan of Piper Chapman, and neither was I - but I do like the twist towards the end. In many ways, her character development was always there - it's ironical to say she is fulfilling her potential. Prison has this way of stripping away all the lies we adorn ourselves with normal life. The real Piper Chapman is not an innocent. She's a stone cold bitch, and it's actually interesting.

But the most surprising character development for me this season would be Black Cindy's religious conversion. Black Cindy was fun as a character - carefree, irresponsible and unapologetically self-centred. Then the show took a left turn and she ends up with one of the most profound character evolution towards the end, when she had to explain to a rabbi why she wanted to be a Jew (and it's not just for the broccoli for meal times). This is where I continue to respect the writing team and the actresses on Orange is the New Black - they continue to shine light on how human beings are multi-faceted and oh, so complicated in our strengths, our cruelties and our capacity for something better. They gave depth to shallowness and it was beautiful.

I could just keep re-watching the scene where Black Cindy - now Tova, explained to the rabbi just why she wanted to convert to Judaism:

"Honestly … I think I found my people. I was raised in a church, where I was told to believe and pray. If I was bad, I go to Hell. If I was good, I go to Heaven. If I asked Jesus, he would forgive me - and that was that. And here y’all say there ain’t no Hell, ain’t sure about Heaven. And if you do something wrong you got to figure it out yourself. And as far as God is concerned, it’s your job to keep asking questions and to keep learning and to keep arguing. It’s like a verb. It’s like - you do God. And it’s a lot of work. But I think I’m in it. At least as far as I can see it. Maybe I’ll learn more. It’s a fuck whole thing. And I want to learn more. And I think I got to be in it - to do that. Does that make sense? Shit, did I just tell myself out of it?"

It was a genuinely beautiful speech. it says something about faith - although I would argue that real faith work regardless of religion, is about how you DO God. It's a verb. The writers got this part writer, and it gave this powerful understanding to this character, and this is why I can't quit this show. It's just really good writing.

SEA Games Swimming 2015: 'Gold' for the SG Singing Crowd

Our national anthem was playing as the winners of the 4 x200m Freestyle relay stood on the podium. Suddenly the speakers broken down - the hum of static, then silence. Then, from the silence, a growing chorus of our people singing the Majulah Singapura, our national anthem with gusto. Smiles broke across the faces of our gold medallists. At the end of the song, we cheered, and one of the swimmers, exclaimed, "Awesome!"

So it was. This is what it means to feels Singaporean. This is what sport is supposed to do - to unite us as one people, as Singaporeans. Money cannot buy this.

I've watched this clip many times over, and I have never felt more pride in my heart for my countrymen.

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Emily Dickinson | Go Above Your Nerve

If your Nerve, deny you—
Go above your Nerve—
He can lean against the Grave,
If he fear to swerve—

That's a steady posture—
Never any bend
Held of those Brass arms—
Best Giant made—

If your Soul seesaw—
Lift the Flesh door—
The Poltroon wants Oxygen—
Nothing more –

F329 (1862) 292
Emily Dickinson

Why Can't We Read Anymore?

I admit it - I have been having problems reading the last few years. I've been reading less - my attention span seems to shrink. I keep trying though, but there's always something to distract me.

Books, in ways that are different to visual art, to music, to radio, to love even, force us to walk through another’s thoughts, one word at a time, over hours and days. We share our minds for that time with the writer’s. There is a slowness, a forced reflection required by the medium that is unique. Books recreate someone else’s thoughts inside our own minds, and maybe it is this one-to-one mapping of someone else’s words, on their own, without external stimuli, that give books their power. Books force us to let someone else’s thoughts inhabit our minds completely.

Books are not just transferrers of knowledge and emotion, but a special kind of tool that flattens one self into another, that enable the trying-on of foreign ideas and emotions.

This suppressing of the self is a kind of meditation too — and while books have always been important to me on their own (pre-digital) merits, it started to occur to me that “learning how to read books again,” might also be a way to start weaning my mind away from this dopamine-soaked digital detritus, this meaningless wash of digital information, which would have a double benefit: I would be reading books again, and I would get my mind back.

- [full article]

Story of Lee Kuan Yew, from his Photographer

There has been many stories published about the late Mr Lee Kuan Yew. This one, is among my favourite. It's from his former photographer, George Gascon.

As they were preparing for the shoot, Mr Gascon caught a glimpse of Mrs Lee combing Mr Lee's hair.

It was a moment that Mr Gascon dearly wished to capture. So he took out his Leica, knowing the quiet shutter would not intrude into the tenderness.

Yet, even with her back to Mr Gascon, Mrs Lee heard the clicking of the camera.

She said: "George, I heard that."

History Books Reading

A couple of friends and I were looking at this list recently, 10 Book That Will Change How You See History. I always believe history is just narrative fighting for dominance. In many ways, history has a lot to do with literature. History should be interesting, and even fun, which was probably why this list catch our interest.

My friends and I are trying out something new. Each of us will pick up a book from the list, read the book and then pass it on to the next person. It's about book sharing, and also a group reading. We just started, and I chose to read The Nuns of Sant'Ambrogio by Hubert Wolf first. It's about scandalous nuns, with some Papal politics thrown in. Why not, right?

WILD | How wild it as, to let it be

I finished re-reading Cheryl Strayed's Wild last night, and it was as beautiful as I remember. Towards the end of her hike, Strayed's narrative shifted, as an author in a distant present looking back at her hike through the PCT, how her life continued since then - her meeting the handsome man who would be her husband, her children, bringing her family to the place she sat and ate an ice cream cone, and all four of them having an ice cream there.

What was it that hiking the PCT has given her? It gave her something to move forward in her life, yet like all mysteries, it is an elusive and wondrous thing.

It was all unknown to me then, as I sat on that white bench on the day I finished my hike. Everything except the fact that I didn't have to know. That it was enough to trust that what I'd done was true. To understand its meaning without yet being able to say precisely what it was, like all those lines from The Dream of a Common Language that had run through my nights and days. To believe that I didn't need to reach with my bare hands anymore. To know that seeing the fish beneath the surface of the water was enough. That it was everything. It was my life--like all lives, mysterious and irrevocable and sacred. So very close, so very present, so very belonging to me.

How wild it as, to let it be.

How beautiful. How so very true.

The End of Cake

A certain realization dawned on him.

"Oh," he said.

YES, said Death.

"Not even time to finish my cake?"

NO. THERE IS NO MORE TIME, EVEN FOR CAKE. FOR YOU, THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE.”

― Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

Sir Terry Pratchett is dead.

Author Terry Pratchett has passed away. [BBC obituary here] His books gave me great joy, his writings showed me how great insight and wisdom must be slathered with copious humour to make them go down easier - sort of like lubricant down an inconvenient orifice. There were so many characters in Discworld that I love, but of them all, I adored Granny Weatherwax and Tiffany Aching - two characters so wise to the world, and so they suffer the world even as they continue to work for everyone around them, knowing that they do not know better.

Pratchett was wiser than a lot of us, yet I believe he never stopped wanting us to be better. I will miss him.

He was so much cooler than your usual knight. His coat of arms had an ankh on it, and he threw in meteorite rocks to forge his own sword when he was knight. Another fun fact: His family motto on his coat of arms was Noli Timere Messorem (Don't fear the Reaper).

You have nothing to fear from the Reaper, Sir Terry.

[source]

PEMA CHODRON |You have to do it alone

“Taking refuge in the Buddha means that we are willing to spend our life reconnecting with the quality of being continually awake.

Every time we feel like taking refuge in a habitual means of escape, we take off more armor, undoing all the stuff that covers over our wisdom and our gentleness and our awake quality.

We’re not trying to be something we aren’t; rather, we’re reconnecting with who we are.

So when we say, “I take refuge in the Buddha,” that means I take refuge in the courage and the potential of fearlessness, of removing all the armor that covers this awakeness of mine.

I am awake; I will spend my life taking this armor off.

Nobody else can take it off because nobody else knows where all the little locks are, nobody else knows where it’s sewed up tight, where it’s going to take a lot of work to get that particular iron thread untied.

You have to do it alone.”

~ Pema Chodron

BOOKS | Neil Gaiman reviews Ishiguro's The Buried Giant

In case you missed it - Neil Gaiman reviews Kzauo Ishiguro's The Buried Giant. I'm reading it right now. It's a slow built up, but I will probably stick with it, to find out what's going on with the story.

Ishiguro is not afraid to tackle huge, personal themes, nor to use myths, history and the fantastic as the tools to do it. “The Buried Giant” is an exceptional novel, and I suspect my inability to fall in love with it, much as I wanted to, came from my conviction that there was an allegory waiting like an ogre in the mist, telling us that no matter how well we love, no matter how deeply, we will always be fallible and human, and that for every couple who are aging together, one or the other of them — of us — will always have to cross the water, and go on to the island ahead and alone.

SLEATER-KINNEY | This is the sound my heart would make if I could amplify it

I'm posting this Rolling Stones interview with Sleater-Kinney here. I was looking for a quote from Carrie Brownstein about the riot grrrl movement earlier:

Brownstein enrolled at Evergreen State College, in Olympia, Washington, the epicenter of the early-Nineties feminist-punk movement known as riot grrrl, where she started a band, Excuse 17, and saw shows by iconic Evergreen acts like Heavens to Betsy, who were fronted by Tucker, and Bikini Kill. The scene was revelatory: "I thought, 'This is the sound my heart would make if I could amplify it,' " Brownstein recalls. "Sometimes, with your family, you're like, 'How can you be so close to me and not see me?' And then, all of a sudden you see yourself portrayed in music, and it's like, 'On the other side of the telescope is someone that sees me.' "

I love it - 'This is the sound my heart would make if I could amplify it'.Sometimes, you come across music that echoes your heartbeat, and this is how it feels.

From "Wild"

Watched "Wild" the movie on Saturday. Towards the end, this passage, in Reese Witherspoon's voice, came up. Her voice, quiet, gentle, so precious:

“What if I forgave myself? I thought. What if I forgave myself even though I'd done something I shouldn't have? What if I was a liar and a cheat and there was no excuse for what I'd done other than because it was what I wanted and needed to do? What if I was sorry, but if I could go back in time I wouldn't do anything differently than I had done? What if I'd actually wanted to fuck every one of those men? What if heroin taught me something? What if yes was the right answer instead of no? What if what made me do all those things everyone thought I shouldn't have done was what also had got me here? What if I was never redeemed? What if I already was?”

There's probably going to be quite a lot of "Wild" posts these days, in bite-size.

Some thoughts, and a Song from the "Wild" Movie Soundtrack

I'm re-reading this article from The Atlantic, about Annie Dillard and her writings - The Thoreau of the Suburb. I read the article while the afterthoughts of my recent readings was slushing around in my brain. Without quite being that conscious of it - although, perhaps being subconsciously aware of it - I have been picking up books related to the idea of women and retreat and journey. I recently read Rebecca Solnit's Encyclopedia of Trouble and Spaciousness, where she mentioned the bizarre controversy about Thoreau's laundry: did Thoreau's sister do his laundry? (She probably did. *gasp*) I'm re-reading Cheryl Strayed's Wild, and that has been interesting, including reading about the controversy that arose that some of Strayed's worse critics seem to object to her casualness with her sexuality in the book. (Why is it even an issue?)

Which amused me (and annoyed me a little) when I read that Annie Dillard had considered writing her book in a male's voice, because she had the idea that readers could not reconcile with the idea that a female would venture "into the wild".

“It’s impossible to imagine another situation where you can’t write a book ’cause you weren’t born with a penis,” wrote Dillard in her journal. “Except maybe Life With My Penis.”

Somehow, reading this, I thought, "She wields a pen". Sometimes I have no idea why I think the thoughts I do. But I do. The whole idea that one type of narrative is more gender-appropriate than another is sadly archaic, yet persistent. Even as Cheryl Strayed made her journey (and oh, how she suffered along the way) hiking along the Pacific Crest Trail, she's constantly behind reminded of how she was a woman, and how strange it was for a woman to do this. Perhaps this is why her book is so important, and it so speaks to me, for all the heartbreaking moments inside it. This is too, a woman's narrative.

Anyway, on an off-tangent note, I will end this post with First Aid Kit's cover of "Walk Unafraid" - taken from the "Wild" movie soundtrack. Catch it if you can. Reese Witherspoon is wonderful in the movie.

Sleater-Kinney Returns

The articles on Sleater-Kinney's return have been coming. This is one of the more recent ones, by Pitchfork. It's no secret that I am a fan. Sleater-Kinney is on my bucket list - "Bands to watch 'live' Before I Die". Yes, some people have Bucket Lists like that. Their music carried me through some bad times. The growls of their guitars, Carrie and Corin with their vocal intensity, the invigorating drumbeats - their music makes me feel more alive.

When they announced the band was on "indefinite hiatus" - it was heartbreaking. Then they came back, sneaking a new single onto the vinyl collection of their old records last year. I was so excited, promised myself I had to catch them when they tour.

Life right now is making it hard to travel, so I will wait. If it is meant to be, it will be.

Then they went and did something like this with their friends, and they remind me again why I totally adore them:

Let's not forget their appearance on David Letterman's. A heart melting moment.

QUOTE | From Tiny Beautiful Things

One of those quotes from Cheryl Strayed's Tiny Beautiful Things that stayed with me. There were many memorable quotes in that tiny little book that was full of heart and loss - and so much hope. This one though - lingered most powerfully. Well, perhaps because it was at the end, but most likely because of what it had to say about getting yourself screwed up in a bad, self-hating place - and yet that there is something within us still worthy, still beautiful, and deserving of grace. Grace in the shape of a purple balloon. Such a tiny beautiful thing.

Everyone should read that book.

“One hot afternoon during the era in which you’ve gotten yourself ridiculously tangled up with heroin, you will be riding the bus and thinking what a worthless piece of crap you are when a little girl will get on the bus holding the strings of two purple balloons. She’ll offer you one of the balloons, but you won’t take it because you believe you no longer have a right to such tiny beautiful things. You’re wrong. You do.”

― Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar

Reading Goals for 2015:

#1: Finally Finish War and Peace

So it seems this month is sort of the 150 anniversary of the publication of War and Peace. Sort of.

According to Paris Review, the story was first serialized in 1805, and it was reworked later:

Well, sort of: the first installment of what was then titled 1805 was indeed published in the January 1865 issue of Russkiy Vestnik. It ran in serial form for the next two years. However, Tolstoy wasn’t happy with this version and reworked much of the book—which he called “not a novel, even less is it a poem, and still less a historical chronicle”—before publishing it as War and Peace in 1869.

Time to get to it. So, I declare, 2015 will be the year I finally finish reading War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy.

Records for 2014

Books Read for 2014

1. Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence • Daniel Goleman
2. What I Talk About When I Talk About Running • Haruki Murakami
3. The Hunger Games • Suzanne Collins
4. Catching Fire • Suzanne Collins
5. Mockingjay • Suzanne Collins
6. Nemesis • Jo Nesbø
   Translated from Norwegian by Don Bartlett
7. Cave in the Snow • Vicki Mackenzie
8. The Land Where Lemons Grow: The Story of Italy and its Citrus Fruit • Helena Attlee
9. Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar • Cheryl Strayed

Elizabeth Gilbert's Advice on Traveling Alone for Women

Wanderlust has been hitting me hard the last few years. Perhaps it's an awareness of time, and how little I have actually done with my life, how little of the world I have seen. It's an affliction that comes with having aging parents, I suppose. I look at my dad, who was such an independent spirit, strong and self-sufficient - and I see him these days a somewhat diminished man, angry at losing his vigour and power. He, too, is aware that he does not have much time left. I have no children. All I have is now. So, I desire to travel, to wander before the ultimate certainty (because death is more certain than taxes) takes me.

I was on Facebook earlier (okay, I am on Facebook everyday - shoot me). Someone posted a question to Elizabeth Gilbert, asking for travel advice. I liked her reply, although, the question is: can you really just travel with carry-on luggage only? Really? I feel like a pack-horse now.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR WOMEN TRAVELING ALONE? 

Dear Ones — 

This question popped up on the wall again this week, and I thought I should reprint this little essay I wrote about it on Facebook last year. And if you all have your own thoughts and advice on the matter, do yo you mind sharing? 

HERE GOES: 

I myself have always had great experiences traveling alone. While there are certainly dangers, I have found that the same factors that make you vulnerable as a woman also make you powerful. What I mean to say is, a woman on her own does not telegraph a threat to anyone—which means that strangers all over the world will welcome you and trust you. They will let you into their houses. They will let you play with their babies. They will tell you their stories. They will give you a place to sleep. They will offer you assistance, food, directions, affection. I feel that, as a female traveler, I have had much more intimate experiences with new people than any man could ever have. They know I'm not going to hurt them, and so they open up to me. I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. 

That said, do be careful—or at least alert. There are places in the world I would not travel alone. There are places in my own state I would not travel alone, for that matter. If you don't see any local women walking around the streets at night, you probably shouldn't be walking there either. Other tips: 

DRESS MODESTLY. I keep this rule just about everywhere I go in the world that isn't Miami. In developing countries or more conservative countries, I am especially careful to wear long sleeves and loose clothing. It's more comfortable, for one thing. (Less sunburn!) It also tends to attract less male attention. But most of all, in places in the world where modesty still reigns, dressing carefully will win you the favor of local women—whose good graces you will always need. If you're walking around in what looks to a nice Indonesian woman like underwear (tank top and shorts) she will be too embarrassed to interact with you. Try not to make people of either gender feel either aroused or embarrassed. 

PACK LIGHTLY. I never travel with checked luggage...not anywhere, not for any amount of time. Carry-on only. Never bring more than you can comfortably carry. Being over-burdened makes you vulnerable in a thousand different ways. Stay light on your feet and you'll be safer and less conspicuous. Also, you don't really need it. Really, you don't! If you’re traveling from place to place and living among strangers, nobody will notice that you wore the same shirt today as yesterday. You will also be safer from people putting things in your luggage (drugs) or taking things out of your luggage (cameras) when you aren't looking. 

EYE-MASK, EAR PLUGS, PJ's, SLIPPERS. Bring good ones. Sleep is the most important thing. 

DON'T BE AFRAID TO LOOK STUPID. Try to speak some of the local language, even if it makes you sound like an idiot. People (except waiters in Paris) will usually be charmed, not appalled. Eat things you wouldn't normally eat. Ask questions. It's OK if you don't know what's going on — the whole point of being a visitor is not to know what's going on, and to be unafraid to learn. Good manners and friendliness trump sophistication any day. You can always apologize for mistakes later. 

DON'T ACT ENTITLED. I won't give any examples here. Just ask yourself constantly, "Am I acting entitled?" Then stop. Actually, this is kind of good advice for even when you aren't traveling. 

BE READY TO HAVE YOUR LIFE CHANGED. 

ONWARD!

Love, Liz

BOOKS | 100 Books to Read 2014

A new year is beginning, and it is time to get back to some tradition. I intend to read more in 2014. A long time ago, I started an annual list of 100 books that I would like to read in a year. While I have never actually completed all 100 books, I like how it directed my reading. I really do read more when I have an aspirational list.
So here is the 100 Books to Read List 2014 - it is still a work in progress - but past experience has taught me that the 100 titles will fill itself up in due course. As you start reading again, you will want to read more.
So here it is:

1. A History of the World in Twelve Maps • Jerry Brotton
2. Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence • Rick Hanson
3. Running and Being • Dr George Sheehan
4. Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom • Rick Hanson
5. The Wisdom of Yoga: A Seeker's Guide to Extraordinary Living • Stephen Cope
6. The Sanity We Are Born With: A Buddhist Approach to Psychology • Chogyam Trungpa
7. Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism • Chogyam Trungpa
8. Smile at Fear: Awakening the True Heart of Bravery • Chogyam Trungpa
9. The Emotional Life of Your Brain: How Its Unique Patterns Affect the Way You Think, Feel, and Live--and How You Can Change Them • Richard J. Davidson & Sharon Begley
10. Grain Brain: The Surprising Truth about Wheat, Carbs, and Sugar--Your Brain's Silent Killers • David Perlmutter & Kristin Loberg
11. Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: An Indian History of the American West • Dee Brown
12. Blue Plate Special: An Autobiography of My Appetites • Kate Christensen
13. The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals • Michael Pollan
14. In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto • Michael Pollan
15. Cooked: A Natural History of Transformation • Michael Pollan
16. Empire of the Summer Moon: Quanah Parker and the Rise and Fall of the Comanches, the Most Powerful Indian Tribe in American History • S. C. Gwynne
17. Dearie: The Remarkable Life of Julia Child • Bob Spitz
18. Love Your Enemies: How to Break the Anger Habit & Be a Whole Lot Happier • Sharon Salzberg
19. Provence, 1970: M.F.K. Fisher, Julia Child, James Beard, and the Reinvention of American Taste • Luke Barr
20. Running with the Buffaloes: A Season Inside with Mark Wetmore, Adam Goucher, and the University of Colorado Men's Cross Country Team • Chris Lear
21. The Round House: A Novel Paperback • Louise Erdrich
22. The Road of Lost Innocence • Somaly Mam
23. The Age of Insight: The Quest to Understand the Unconscious in Art, Mind, and Brain, from Vienna 1900 to the Present • Eric Kandel
24. The Source of All Things: A Memoir • Tracy Ross
25. No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva •  Pema Chodron
26. Give and Take • Adam Grant
27. Moral Tribes: Emotion, Reason, and the Gap Between Us and Them • Joshua Greene
28. The Social Neuroscience of Education: Optimizing Attachment and Learning in the Classroom • Louis Cozolino
29. Quiet: The Power of Introverts • Susan Cain
30. The Old Ways: A Journey on Foot • Robert MacFarlane
31. A Tale for the Time Being • Ruth Ozeki
32. David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants • Malcolm Gladwell
33. S. Rajaratnam on Singapore: From Ideas to Reality • edited by Kwa Chong Guan
34. When Women Were Birds: Fifty-Four Variations on Voice • Terry Tempest Williams
35. Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation • Sharon Salzberg
36. Hild • Nicola Griffith
38. Lady Audley's Secret • Mary Elizabeth Braddon
39. The Names of the Rose • Umberto Eco
40. Dune • Frank Herbert
41. The Stars My Destination • Alfred Bester
42. Jane Eyre • Charlotte Bronte
43. The Windup Girl • Paolo Bacigalupi
44. Regenesis • C.J. Cherryh
45. Among Others • Jo Walton
46. Ready Player One • Ernest Cline
47. The City & The City • China Miéville
55. Their Eyes Were Watching God • Zora Neale Hurston
56. A Fine Balance • Rohinton Mistry
57. The 1963 Operation Coldstore in Singapore • Edited by Poh Soo Kai, Tan Kok Fang & Hong Lysa
    [ 01/01/2014 ~
58. Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith • Anne Lamott
    [ 15/10/2013 ~
59. How to Meditate: A Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Mind • Pema Chodron
    [ 27/01/2014 ~
60. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success • Carol Dweck
    [ 30/01/2014 ~
61. An Everlasting Meal: Cooking with Economy and Grace • Tamar Adler
    [ 10/02/2014 ~
62. The Goldfinch • Donna Tartt
    [ 14/03/2014 ~
73. Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace • Anne Lamott
    [ 04/12/2014 ~
74. Encyclopedia of Trouble and Spaciousness• Rebecca Solnit
    [ 26/11/2014 ~
75. Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption • Laura Hillenbrand
    [ 23/11/2014 ~ 
76. Station Eleven • Emily St. John Mandel
    [ 23/11/2014 ~
77. What Days Are For: A Memoir • Robert Dessaix
    [ 20/11/2014 ~
78. The Outsider • Albert Camus
    Translated from the French by Sandra Smith
    [ 01/10/2014 ~
79. The Trauma of Everyday Life • Mark Epstein
    [ 15/09/2014 ~
80. Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage • Haruki Murakami
    Translated from the Japanese by Philip Gabriel
    [ 12/08/2014 ~
82. The Devil's Star • Jo Nesbø
    Translated from the Norwegian by Don Bartlett
    [ 28/07/2014 ~
91. Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence • Daniel Goleman
    [ 04/11/2013 ~ 01/01/2014 ]
92. What I Talk About When I Talk About Running • Haruki Murakami
    [ 02/01/2014 ~ 27/01/2014 ]
93. The Hunger Games • Suzanne Collins
    [ 31/01/2014 ~ 08/02/2014 ]
94. Catching Fire • Suzanne Collins
    [ 08/02/2014 ~ 09/02/2014 ]
95. Mockingjay • Suzanne Collins
    [ 09/02/2014 ~ 10/02/2014 ]
96. Nemesis • Jo Nesbø
    Translated from the Norwegian by Don Bartlett
    [ 19/07/2014 ~ 28/07/2014 ]
97. Cave in the Snow • Vicki Mackenzie
    [ 18/10/2014 ~ 08/11/2014 ]
98. The Land Where Lemons Grow: The Story of Italy and its Citrus Fruit • Helena Attlee
    [ 13/09/2014 ~ 15/11/2014 ]
99. Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar • Cheryl Strayed
    [ 28/09/2014 ~ 2/11/2014 ]

Marathon Heroes: "These are the things that define you ..."

I was watching this press interview with Kara Goucher after the NYC Marathon, and it was heartbreaking for me. [ Source ]

Kara Goucher finished 14th at the NYC Marathon with a time of 2:37:03. It was her big return since the 2013 Boston Marathon, and fans like myself were all looking forward to her doing well. Things did not go as planned though. For the first time in her running career, she "hit a wall" - that painful, unspeakable moment when the brain and body shut down and you truly struggle to carry on. She admitted in this video this is the first time she "hit a wall" running. I watched her break down, emotions overwhelming her. I imagine the kind of doubts and anguish going through her head when so many people had their hopes on her making a triumphant return after injuries and changing coaches.

“I’m really sensitive so it hurts,” Goucher said, wiping away more tears. “I know I am in great shape and can do great things. It’s like, ‘Well that sucked.’ I’ve worked really hard and have a lot of people behind me and I’m like, ‘That’s what it was?’ But that’s what it was. It just wasn’t great. It was really sucky, actually.

“This is the most pain I have ever been in my entire life” she continued. “Both physically and emotionally. It’s taken so much for me to get back here and so many people have invested in me so I feel a responsibility for that and then physically I have never felt like that before where I literally couldn’t move. It was not a good experience."

It was a most human moment. She was an Olympian, an elite runner, but even heroes struggle. I think we often forget that. After finishing the race, Kara Goucher broke down and wept. Meb Keflezighi, approached her and comforted her. Meb finished 23rd last year, but came back strong this year to finish 4th in the NYC men's race, and he won the Boston Marathon earlier this year. This is a guy who fell and tasted the ashes, but found it inside him to pick him up. Kara said:

“I talked to Meb about it and he said, ‘These are the things that define you and the experiences that make you appreciate the good times and make you work even harder,’” Goucher said. “He came up to me and I started crying and he started crying. Then he said, ‘Look at where I was last year and look at where I am now. I believe and don’t let this sway you from what you know you’re capable of.’

Heroes struggle too. We forget that. What makes them heroes is precisely because they struggle, and continue to get back up and fight harder. What makes them heroes is because they understand the struggle, and they work to lift others up.

 Stay strong, Kara. We believe in you. Stay strong, Meb. Both of you are heroes.

[ Source: @Adam_Goucher ]

Murakami on sniffing books

“When I open them, most of the books have the smell of an earlier time leaking out between the pages - a special odor of the knowledge and emotions that for ages have been calmly resting between the covers. Breathing it in, I glance through a few pages before returning each book to its shelf.”
― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

Curator - care of the souls or aqueducts?

Brief history of the word, "curator":

A very short history of the word 'curator' might run as follows. In Ancient Rome, curatores were senior civil servants in charge of various departments of public works, overseeing the Empire's aqueducts, bathhouses and sewers. Fast forward to the medieval period, and we encounter the curatus, a priest devoted to the care (or 'cura') of souls.

By the end of the 20th century, 'curator' came to describe a broad category of exhibition makers, from museum employees who spend years working on modest, scrupulously researched displays of Sumerian pottery, to freelancers who approach large scale Biennales of contemporary art as an opportunity to clear their auteurial throat.

Here in the third millennium, the word curator has undergone a further shift in usage. Appropriated by the marketing departments of businesses keen to imbue their products with an air of hard-won distinction and borrowed avant-garde cool, it is now used to describe anybody from the celebrity programmer of a pop festival to a fashion stylist who puts together a 'capsule collection' from a department store's fall/winter stock. A curator, here, is essentially a paid selector of stuff for sale, whether it be concert tickets or cuff links.

NaNoWriMo 2014

Signed up for NaNoWriMo. No one ever said it has to be deathless prose, right?

Hiatus No More! Sleater-Kinney's Coming Back!

They are coming back! Sleater-Kinney's coming back! Here's their new single, "Bury Our Friends". Their new album is scheduled to drop January next year! I'm stoked!

Nico and Patti Smith

I did not know that Patti Smith and Nico knew each other. Patti Smith did not speak much of her acquaintance with the tall blonde, hipster femme fatale.

Came across this excerpt from a book on Nico recently though, where she spoke about her impression of Patti Smith, and Smith's generosity to her. It's a small human piece, but so touching.

“I had met Patti in New York, when she was a young poet on the scene. She was a female Leonard Cohen, when she moved from writing to singing, and I liked her because she was thin but strong. John Cale produced her first album, which was about heroin (Horses, 1975). Then I met her in Paris, and got to know her better. I felt like she could be a sister, because anyway she was the double of Philippe Garrel, and I liked to be together with her...

“Patti was very kind to me. Early in 1978 my harmonium was stolen from me. I was without any money and now I couldn’t even earn a living playing without my organ. A friend of mine saw one with green bellows in an obscure shop, the only one in Paris. Patti bought it for me. I was so happy and ashamed. I said, “I’ll give you back the money when I get it”, but she insisted the organ was a present and I should forget about the money. I cried. I was ashamed she saw me without money.”

- Nico: The Life and Lies of an Icon, Richard Witts

CAMUS | To Read

The absurdity of my life is not lost on me. I have began to wonder about my own sanity. Perhaps this is why I decided to start a reading list for myself yesterday. I have decided I will read the works of Albert Camus - works by him, works about him. I may not read everything, but as much as possible.

So here we go - for 1st October 2014, I read The Outsider, by Albert Camus. Translator: Sandra Smith.

Geoff Dyer, on Albert Camus

Geoff Dyer, on Albert Camus:

I was drawn to Albert Camus because he looked so cool in his trenchcoat, because the Cure wrote a song inspired by one of his books (The Outsider), because he and his pug-ugly friend Sartre were existentialists (which seemed related, somehow, to the trenchcoat).

Probably one of the most honest reason for reading Camus.

Thug Kitchen Cookbook Trailer (explicit)

This is probably one of the better book trailers I have seen in a while. I'm definitely going to get the Thug Kitchen Cookbook

Gaiman on Pratchett: "Terry Pratchett isn't jolly. He's Angry"

I promised myself to write more often, but truth is, these days I am just trying to find more time for sleep. So here's a piece from Neil Gaiman, on Terry Pratchett and the inner rage that drove his writings. They have been friends for a while now, even wrote a book together, which was hilarious. The worldknows about Pratchett's decline because of early on-set Alzheimer's. As a fan of his books, this saddens me, because it's a disease that will gradually strips one of their dignity before the end.

This essay by Gaiman shares something about Pratchett that I have always believed in - that there's something serious and earnest behind his books.

Terry looked at me. He said: “Do not underestimate this anger. This anger was the engine that powered Good Omens.” I thought of the driven way that Terry wrote, and of the way that he drove the rest of us with him, and I knew that he was right.

There is a fury to Terry Pratchett’s writing: it’s the fury that was the engine that powered Discworld

This rage that Gaiman describes, seems to me a symptom of a sense of injustice; things should be better, ought to be better. People should know better, ought to do better - but we often fail. I see it in the moments of sad acceptance in Granny Weatherwax and Tiffany Aching - characters who have enough wisdom and courage to see the truth about human nature, yet somehow found something precious within themselves to continue to care. I always believe that people gets truly angry because they care.

This is why I love Pratchett's writings: the moral outrage in his writings that's cleverly disguised as "low-brow" humour. The humanity and heart in them.

I also have a parent at home with early on-set Alzheimer's. I can't bring myself to wish that he gets better, because I know that's an empty hope at the moment. It will only get worse. We are losing one of our greatest mind. That is a tragedy.

My Own Magical Reading

It's a warm Sunday afternoon right now. I'm out at a local cafe with a book and a cup of teh cino (frothy milk tea). I picked up this title yesterday from the bookstore - Tolstoy and the Purple Chair: My Year of Magical Reading. It's a reading memoir, where Nina Sankovitch decided one day to stop running from the grief in her life, since her sister's death - and just read. Just stay still and read and let the books soothe her.

It felt like a good plan, something that I am dying for myself. The title itself reminded me of Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking - and perhaps it was meant to allure to that, both books coping with loss and grief in their own way. 

We all come to books for our own reasons. Right now, I need my old friends for some comfort. Today I opened up a new Moleskine cahier (I have lots of them around the house). I wrote down the titles of the books that I still have in progress, wrote down the date I started on them, similar to this blog, and started my Reading Journal again. I can only write again when I start reading again. This much I know. For me to read again, my mind has to be at peace.

So, for now, some milk tea and a book. 

This is my own magical reading place.

Patti Smith - People Have the Power!

Patti Smith at Riot Fest, performing "People Have the Power". Around 6:30, she remind us, "We do have the power! Our governments, our corporations would like us to feel defeated, but we have it with our numbers if we use it. Don't forget it!" 

MURAKAMI | Feeling the Voice and the Music in Murakami

I'm reading Haruki Murakami's Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage. It has the Murakami signature "voice". I think about it, and his books are often a little depressing, quiet and understated - but I love the "voice". I once told a friend about how it feels reading a Murakami novel - it's like I'm sitting at a table, in a jazz bar. There's only him, and me, at the table. There's cigarette smoke in the air, and a couple of beer between us. Then he starts telling me a story, quietly, and I'm just there, listening. Just him and me.

I'm back on the groove and ease reading his most recent book. I like how he always ties in his other passions into his books, most of all music - which might be how he achieves the "voice" in his novels. If it doesn't "sound" right, it's not right. It's about the melody, the "feel" of the voice, rather than the plot that matters. In a way, he's writing a melody as a book.

I had this conversation with a friend a while back. She pays attention to the lyrics of the songs, while I tend to pay more attend to the melody and I often forget the lyrics. It's an odd thing, considering how I am a reader - yet I do not read the lyrics much. I tap into the rhythm, the melody, the sound and the mood of music. Just like how I tap into the "voice" in Murakami's novels and not the story as much, considering how I am a story person.

It is fascinating to think about how Murakami taps into music and channels them creatively into his writing. Perhaps he channels his writing into his running as well. I'm not the only one curious about it, as this Murakami Literary Playlist show.

For now, the playlist for Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage is Liszt:

As they listened to one piano recording, Tsukuru realized that he'd heard the composition many times in the past. He didn't know the title, however, or the composer. It was a quiet, sorrowful piece that began with a slow, memorable theme that played out as single notes, then proceeded into a series of tranquil variations. Tsukuru looked up from the book he was reading and asked Haida what it was.
'"Franz Liszt's 'La mal du pays.' It's from his Years of Pilgrimage Suite 'Year One: Switzerland.'"
"'La mal du…'?"
"'La map du pays.' It's French. Usually it's translated as 'homesickness,' or 'melancholy.' If you put a finer point on it, it's more like 'a groundless sadness called forth in a person's heart by a pastoral landscape.' It's a hard expression to translate accurately." 

A song on pilgrimage. I get that.

My copy of Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage.
Might add more stickers to the cover as I progress with the story.

Simon Sinek: Why Leaders Eat Last

I was watching this TED talk by Simon Sinek on why leaders eat last. I like this definition of leadership - that you are given more, so that when it matters, you put yourself at risk for others. It made me reflect on myself, in my role at work, and also about the managers I have encountered through the years, and about those in positions of political power in my country.

The How many of those at the top fulfils the anthropological definition of leadership?

“The cost of leadership is self-interest. If you’re not willing to give up your perks when it matters, then you probably shouldn’t get promoted. You might be an authority, but you will not be a leader. Leadership comes at a cost. You don’t get to do less work when you get more senior, you have to do more work. And the more work you have to do is put yourself at risk to look after others. That is the anthropological definition of what a leader is. This the why we are so offended by these banker boys who pay themselves astronomical salaries. It has nothing to do with the number. It has to do with the fact that they have violated a deep-seated social contract.”

20 Odd Questions with Patti Smith

From Wall Street Journal

Patti Smith:

When I go on tour, I only pack a very small suitcase. The thing that takes me the longest to choose is the book I'm going to read. It is Dylan Thomas's 100th anniversary this year; I have Elizabeth Bishop's copy of "In Country Sleep," so I might bring that.

Alone, Lonely and Sadly

A colleague told me the story about her father-in-law and his family a while back. He was dying, and they took him home, so that the family could look after him. The sad truth is, the old man had left a legacy of irresponsible parenting. As my colleague told me - "He only knew how to make babies and go fishing. He doesn't know how to look after his kids." 

The old man had eight children - yet at the end of his days, it was his daughter-in-laws who bathed, him, fed him, took care of him. His own children were not available. This is the truth of a family with no bond. My colleague told me how her mother-in-law was angry as the man was dying - after all the years, she was still angry at the husband who wasn't around, and whom she thought ruined her life. 

When the man finally passed away, he was alone. His wife eventually went to check on him, and found that he was not breathing. So a man with a wife and eight children died alone, lonely and sadly.

ESSAY | Why I Teach Plato to Plumbers

Good article on the importance of liberal arts in our education. [ Full article ]

My answer is that we should strive to be a society of free people, not simply one of well-compensated managers and employees. Henry David Thoreau is as relevant as ever when he writes, “We seem to have forgotten that the expression ‘a liberal education’ originally meant among the Romans one worthy of free men; while the learning of trades and professions by which to get your livelihood merely, was considered worthy of slaves only.”

My Saturday Evening

It's been a while since I had time alone with a book. I am out at a Starbucks, people watching, drinking a hot cafe latte and reading. It's ironical that I am only able to find quiet solitude outside in public, surrounded by strangers and not at home with family. That's life, I guess.

I've just started on Katie Roiphe's In Praise of Messy Lives, and it's a hoot. "L'hypocrisie de la bourgeoisie" seems to be the overarching theme of her collection of essays. I'm on the first two essays, where she talked about the fact that she had to raise two children (from different fathers) as a single mother, and the reactions from those around her. She described the parallels between The Age of Innocence and when she was going through her divorce, and later The Scarlet Letter against when she was raising a child without the child's father. Her situation brought out some annoying (to me) reactions that reminds me how it's often not about you, but rather, it's about them - and people are most intolerant of the situations that they are unable to bear in their own lives. It helps that she is interestingly unrepentant about it all.

I did find her observation of the perception of single mothers interesting:

Part of what seems threatening or unsettling about the single mother's household is precisely that sense that the mother may be glimpsed as more of a person, that these children are witnessing a struggle they should not be seeing, that their mother is very early on a regular, complicated person, rather than simply an adult who is part of the opaque, semi-separate adult culture of the house.

I'm reminded of Desperate Housewives, especially the character Bree (the red head) with her perfectly constructed family life that underpinned a psychotic intensity that absolutely made it absolutely believable that she was capable of murder. What is it with the need for perfection?

Life is more interesting when we stop trying to be perfect and allow the messiness.

So here's to a messy life.

MURAKAMI | Run To Live Life to the Fullest

“People sometimes sneer at those who run every day, claiming they'll go to any length to live longer. But don't think that's the reason most people run. Most runners run not because they want to live longer, but because they want to live life to the fullest. If you're going to while away the years, it's far better to live them with clear goals and fully alive than in a fog, and I believe running helps you to do that. Exerting yourself to the fullest within your individual limits: that's the essence of running, and a metaphor for life — and for me, for writing as whole. I believe many runners would agree”

― Haruki Murakami, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running

(Photo: Haruki Murakami, after finishing his first marathon from Athens to Marathon in the blistering summer heat - July 18th, 1983. [Source])

Donna Tartt wins Pulitzer Prize

So Donna Tartt won the Pulitzer this year for The Goldfinch - which I brought to Amsterdam as travel reading (Bad idea to bring thick books on a trip. When will I ever learn?) Some parts of it interested me - but the narrative fell flat midway. I will probably finish it eventually. I still can't quite decide if this book is overrated. I had better hopes for it, but it's not engaging me the way I had hoped.

That said, I am very taken with this picture of Donna Tartt, taken by Anne Leibovitz for Vanity Fair.

MUSIC | Nirvana, featuring Lorde covering "All Apologies"

Nirvana gets inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and they decided a all-female line-up is the way to go. So here's a fan's wet dream of Nirvana hits, with Lorde, Kim Gordon, Joan Jett and St Vincent all on stage. Lorde does the vocals on "All Apologies". I'm old enough to remember when Kurt Cobain sang it.

I heart this.

ELIZABETH GILBERT | "Take me with you in spirit ... Tell us what you find. I will follow you later"

I saw this Facebook entry by Elizabeth Gilbert today. Travels is on the top of my mind lately, since I came back from Amsterdam and Paris just a few weeks ago. The question of why we travel is, and how it changes us. I thought she but it rather well. But most of all, this lines, that a neighbour said to her before she embarked on the journey that would lead to Eat, Pray, Love:

"Take me with you in spirit. Take all of us with you, who dream of someday doing this but who right now staying home and taking care of the contracts we have signed with our lives. Tell us what you find. I will follow you later."

Travel well, and when you return, share.

WHY WE MUST SOMETIMES GO...

Right now I'm reading for the first time the great memoir TRACKS by Robyn Davidson — a classic of both women's and Australian literature. For those of you who aren't familiar with this book, it's wonderful — the chronicle of a woman who, back in the 1970s, rode 1,700 miles all alone across the Australian Outback with three camels.

Why did she do it? What I love about this story is that she does not ever really provide a why. She did it because she needed to do it.

A lot of people told her she was crazy to set out on such a dangerous journey, and that she would probably die during it. But, Davidson recounts, she had one conversation before she left with an older female friend who told her: "I really like what you're doing...Getting off your butt and actually doing something is important for all of us...It's important that we leave each other and the comfort of it, and circle away, even though it's hard sometimes, so that we can come back and swap information about what we've learned, even if what we do changes us, and we risk not recognizing each other when we return."

THAT IS WHY WE MUST SOMETIMES GO AWAY.

Not only for our own benefit, but for the benefit of each other. To model another way of being. To represent, out there in the wild world. To bring back the treasure of sharing what we have learned. I remember the week before I went traveling for EAT PRAY LOVE, a neighbor (a mother of two young children) gave me a long hug and said into my ear, "Take me with you in spirit. Take all of us with you, who dream of someday doing this but who right now staying home and taking care of the contracts we have signed with our lives. Tell us what you find. I will follow you later."

And she did — about ten years later. At which point, I gave her that same hug and said the same words into her ear. As I have said those exact same words to countless other people, as they are about to embark on their own journey. Go away now, but take us with you in spirit; tell us what you learned when you return.

If it's time for you to go, go NOW. But take notes. Think of your journey toward self-discovery and adventure as a community service.

You'll make us all better for it,

HEART,

LG

MATTHIESSEN | Life Will Never Be Simple

"I dream of simplicity, but I'm as far from it as ever. That is my practice, how to be in the world and remain simple. One day perhaps I'll accept the fact that I am never going to find the simple life. Maybe the first step toward simplicity will be to accept that my life will never be simple even if I go live in a cave and subsist on green nettles like Milarepa."
— Peter Matthiessen

Peter Matthiessen RIP

Peter Matthiessen passed away. Time to re-read The Snow Leopard. [Source]