Monday, July 23, 2007

Bugger Me Seagull

I should be upset about this, but right now all I feel is a profound sense of irony.

I had ticket to watch Sir Ian McKellen last night for The RSC performance of The Seagull. I forgot all about it. I wasn't even doing anything important last night. I was just at home, ironing my clothes.

Since it's over, there isn't anything I could do about it. So, I might as well just let it go, right?

To think I had it all written down on my diary so that I will not forget. Oh well.


As it turns out, my equanimity on this issue is superficial. I am more upset about this than I realise. When I told my colleagues about how I forgot about the play, some actually raised their voice at how stupid and careless I was. That got me defensive and bristling. Afterall, it is MY money and MY ticket. It is just a play, not life or death.

"How could you forget?" they screamed at me.

"Because I don't remember, Hence I forget," I snapped.

The people who are angry at ME missing the play are the ones who would not pay to watch Ian McKellen. So why are they taking it so personally when I have more reasons to be upset than them?

What I know is this: my defensiveness on this is because I am not as calm about missing the play as I pretend to be. A part of me is angry at myself for forgetting. Too often, I find that my anger and defensive reactions are less due to the events (which is just a stimulus) - but rather, it is because I allowed myself to succumb to my own insecurities and fears.


Mailyn said...

Love Ian! Oh and have you done with the book??? I must say I LOVED IT! OK, it had it's roll-your-eyes moments but, otherwise, I'd say it was great. ^__^

P.S. Yes, I will be seeing Tony Leung's movie although war related movies usually bore me to tears. But it must be done. I'll watch anything with Tony! LOL

darkorpheus said...

I love Sir Ian too. *sigh* At least i did manage to catch him for King Lear.

Still not done with Harry Potter - so, Shhhh!

Carl V. Anderson said...

I'm so sorry you missed it. I'm also sorry that others are making you feel bad about something you would already feel bad about. I hope despite missing it that you had a restful weekend!

darkorpheus said...

Thanks, Carl. I'm okay now. Just needed to vent a little. Was pretty annoyed this morning. Butit passes.

Right now I'm just concentrating on finishing Harry Potter, and threatening to throw a stone at anyone who wants to SPOIL the ending for me. ;p

Mailyn said...

Yeah no spoilage from me so no worries. I am even waiting to review it until most people are done with it. LOL.

Anonymous said...

thats just bollocks that they were angry at you for missing it. as you said, these are the people who wouldn't have spent money on it in the first place...

still, what annoys me most about situations like this is that there's nothing you can do about it. you forgot and its over - getting angry with you isn't going to help anything.

AND, its your life after all. you can do what you like. if you choose to watch a jennifer lopez film or miss some stanley kubrick festival thats your choice - its nothing people can get angry about. if you ran over their cat, yes, but not missing a bloody play.

and you know, they should feel sorry for you. thats what friends do - express sympathy at your misfortune! thats what they should've done.

i can totally relate ro how you're feeling... i go spare when people get upset about stuff thats thats just not their business...

so - what a pity you missed it. but never mind, there's nothing you can do now... go watch 300 and it'll cheer you up! :)

Sycorax Pine said...

I do things like this ALL THE TIME, so I am filled with empathy right now, particularly because Ian McKellen is such a delight. Weren't you suffering enough before your colleagues berated you?? Yeesh.

Rebecca H. said...

oops! I can see myself doing that, actually -- you're certainly not alone!

darkorpheus said...

Thanks guys - I'm totally okay now. It was just one of those unpleasant moments when people have different expectations.

I guess one of the reasons why some of my colleagues got so worked up with me is because I am usually not so careless. Or rather - this sort of carelessness is not TYPICAL of me.

I'm usually thought of as a sober, reliable sort. Which tells me my colleagues don't know me very well. ;p

Still - if anyone gets to catch Ian McKellen with the RSC, do go.